You are a 4th year apprentice working in a school.
Having earlier in the day fallen through a classroom ceiling it is time
for you to enter the loft again.
a) Get up there and this time take a little more care where you are
b) Refuse to go up because might fall through the ceiling again?
c) Get up there, take no extra care at all and fall through a different
I am afraid there is no prize.
It's (c) - and I bet he was on his phone!
I can top that though...
We had a 4th year middle school kid fall through our ceiling (I was in
the 3rd year IIRC) - this so this is Y5-6 in modern parlance.
Surrey County Council had sent the insulation installers to put blown
fibre in the roof spaces of our main building (4th year block was
flat roofed and the 2 portacabins don't have a lot of options either)
All we were warned was not to touch the big pipe as it had a charge on
it (not sure if that was from static from blowing the fibres or if it
was deliberate to make them stick rather than filling the air.
Bearing in mind this is a normal school day... And our classrooms must
have had getting on for 3m high ceilings.
So on the upper floor where we were, there's this ladder into the loft
space, with a 4" flexi pipe coming in through the window, snaking over
the floor and corridor and up into the roof.
From time to time the workers would bugger off leaving it like that.
Our teacher said he had to go off to do something and to get on with work.
Few minutes after he's gone, there's a massive crash as the arse of some
kid (the 4th year I guess as he was bigger than us) landed on the big
ledge in front of the blackboard and bounced off onto the floor with the
rest of him, having just fallen through a ceiling tile.
Luckily for him, he missed the pile of drawing pins that are usually
lying around on the ledge.
Some girl asked if he was alright and he said yes, as he limped off -
he'd obviously got curious and gone up the latter to have a look.
Teacher comes back - looks are mess and ceiling and we tell him what
1) Say "Oh god, we have to find him and make sure he goes to hospital
for a checkup";
2) Bollock the workers for leaving an unguarded ladder;
3) Say: "Well, he shouldn't have been up there!" and carry on like
nothing had happened?
Bonus point for guessing the total number of modern day safety violations...
 This was the 70s, so fuck knows if the "fibres" has asbestos in for
North Americanarchaicinformal noun
noun: buss; plural noun: busses
1. a kiss.
verb: buss; 3rd person present: busses; past tense: bussed; past
participle: bussed; gerund or present participle: bussing
1. kiss. "he bussed her on the cheek"
Was the boy dispatched with a Glaswegian kiss ?.
Answer is 3.
Modern day H&S violations?
The lad was not wearing a hi viz vest AICMFP.
I could probably find at least another 30 regs that are now broken.
Let's start with the fact that your teacher had just nipped into the
staff room for a cigarette.
In the same period as my story, our head just smoked in his office. It
was like a 1950s smog when I had to go in (he was still smoking, the
ashtray looked like Mt Bastard Versuvius). And I came from a 40-60 a day
It's possible. Some of use "caught" him and a few others down the
Victoria pub at lunchtime (for some reason we were allowed out on an
errand in town or something). Those must have been the days: horrible
little oiks, but at least you could chuck a couple of swift ones back at
lunchtime to soften the pain...
I still can :) But I don't teach...
Other violations that were not in use back in the 70's
No risk and method statement
No hard hat (as worn today by the architect visiting the site and no one
No PAT test stickers on the electrical appliances (I always carry spare
stickers just in case another tradesman gets caught out - they only need
a date writing on them and sticking onto the plug)
240V tools not 110V (actually both are allowed but tell that to a jobsworth)
No DBS checks
No cordoning off off the danger zones
Working in a ceiling area with live circuits (all circuits must be
Wearing flared jeans
On Saturday, 2 June 2018 13:06:53 UTC+1, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
I used to like a nice tie.
It's much cheaper to buy a variety of good ties then people don't notice the cheap suit.
 Well, it would have been an expensive Savile Row suit for its first owner. Nine quid in Oxfam.
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