Modern locks are a pest

[Commander Kinsey]

You must have a really shit car. Mine has an electronic oil guage, and warns me if there's is insufficient oil in the spare area - the sump. If I wish, I can press a button and get it to show me exactly how full it is.

Even on shit cars, the light means it's not pumping well. If you stop as soon as that happens and add oil, you cannot possibly damage the engine. Do you seriously think they'd fit a warning light that tells you you're too late?

What about your fuel warning light? Does that come on when the tank is empty? Telling you what you now already know as your engine has stopped? Or perhaps it tells you when you have 40 miles left to go, so you can fill up. Use some f****ng common sense.

[Rod Speed]

Wong, as always. Its actually the simpler ones that need more maintenance because the more complicated ones generally do the maintenance themselves.

That's why bicycles need more maintenance than modern cars which no just need tires and break pads to be maintained.

Yep, you never have had a f****ng clue about anything mechanical, or anything else at all, either.

Try that with a bicycle and see how far you get.

Try that with an old pre computer car and see how far you get, literally.

You're so f****ng stupid that when the engine temperature warning light comes on, you ignore that and kill the engine, repeatedly.

[Rod Speed]

Thanks for that completely superfluous proof that you have never ever had a f****ng clue about anything at all, ever.

Thanks for that completely superfluous proof that you have never ever had a f****ng clue about anything at all, ever.

Doesn't involve wear due to inadequate lubrication, f****it.

[Clare Snyder]

I doubt the crazy scotsman even drives a motorized vehicle - if he does it won't last long - likely buys or pinches a different car every year or two.

[Jake56]

They don't last very long at all.

- likely buys or pinches a different car every

And buys the cheapest frog shit he can find.

[Commander Kinsey]

£500 for 4 years sounds good to me. You morons that spend £20,000 on a car then sell it for £10,000 a few years later are the fools.

You are Rod Speed and I claim my £5.

[Commander Kinsey]

We saw it in the f****ng film you moron! 3 inches of the door remained securely attached to the frame all the way round! Are you f****ng blind?!? The handle was still there!

You really are stupid aren't you? The CENTRE of the door was broken. The lock type is irrelevant. The strength of the DOOR ITSELF is what matters.

[Commander Kinsey]

The point flew over the Aussie's head.

[Commander Kinsey]

Nope, look it up, it's a common problem.

I shouldn't have to. Traditional locks never needed caring for.

[Commander Kinsey]

Agreed, so no point in any security measures whatsoever. I broke into my neighbour's house by removing the seal around their window then lifting the glazing out.

[Commander Kinsey]

Mostly correct, except I don't have one, I'd remove it if I did.

[Rod Speed]

We'll see...

Because it was plastic, f****it.

Wrong, as always.

Only terminal fuckwits use plastic doors.

[Rod Speed]

Wrong, as always.

[Rod Speed]

Wrong, as always. All you have to do is make your place harder to get into and much more risk of getting caught to have the burglar loot someone else's place instead.

You cant get into my place that way.

[Xeno]

You haven't a clue what goes on in bearings, have you? Oil aeration is a bearing killer and it's happening when you have low oil, that's even before the light comes on.

If you don't mind, I'll use my 55 years in the motor trade instead. I have seen more than a few drivers who lack common sense. You are one such.

[Xeno]

I really think you've nailed it.

[The Natural Philosopher]

Xeno: It's 'Commander Kinsey', fully paid up underbridge dweller.

"You haven't a clue" is all that you need to say

Nah. he's just winding you up.

[Rod Speed]

Except that he isnt a scotsman, he is a sassenach.

[Commander Kinsey]

What's stupid about wanting a door to be easy to operate?

Why make things more complicated than they have to be?

It is not better to have to use two hands to lock the f****ng door!

They do on every single door, even 7 point ones, when you're opening it.

Not possible to move that much stuff with a tiny key.

[Commander Kinsey]

You don't need thre prefix "brute" to break a flimsy little key. Keys are not designed to move 7 locks simultaneously.