Why are stairlifts so slow?

[Rod Speed]

Wrong, as always, In fact we have much better and bigger ski fields than you lot do.

Your sig is sposed to have a line with just -- on it in front of it, ugly.

[Rod Speed]

Only for terminal fuckwits like you.

[Rod Speed]

Read the f****ng manual, stupid. Bet the first one is for the volume when playing music, podcasts and video. The next two are obvious.

[Rod Speed]

Yep, you actually are that terminal a f****it.

Both are less convenient than picking up the phone.

We arent all desperate povs like you lot.

Nope. One was used for most meals except breakfast.

Nope, we got real radical and had these things called fridges.

Too late for that now in that soggy little frigid island.

But make f****ng much worse.

Pity about most being in a bath or shower much longer.

Fact.

But you have no control over the individual using it, stupid.

Nope.

Nope. Even now I don't need to get up in the night to piss.

[Andy]

Stairlifts are not race cars.

Andy

[Ed Pawlowski]

Some older people have brittle bones. The G-force from a fast lift could fracture them. It would be like the space launch last week.

[Xeno]

Hmmm, so you've never been to Australia then?

[Davej]

Still sucking up that FoxNews bullshit? Grow a brain already.

[Davej]

Well, turn it into a toilet seat. Problem solved.

[Commander Kinsey]

I'm talking about changing 0.5mph to 1mph.

[Commander Kinsey]

I won't bother clicking your bullshit links. The stats clearly show most people dying of the virus are those with a pre-existing medical condition.

By the way, the stats also show the deaths from the virus are 100 times less than the population growth. So we're not exactly an endangered species. Carry on as you were. Or, follow government guidelines, f*ck up the world economy and see many many times more dying as a result of everyone being bankrupt. You can't just shut down 90% of the world like that.

[Commander Kinsey]

Some people worry way too much.

[Commander Kinsey]

Then acceleration really would be a problem.

[Commander Kinsey]

Then acceleration really would be a problem.

[Commander Kinsey]

There's this thing called the internet, so I can know about things I haven't witnessed personally.

[Rod Speed]

Only because almost all older people have that, stupid.

And you do too.

That's bullshit too.

Irrelevant to whether it makes sense not to die of this virus very unpleasantly.

Only fools do that until it kills them.

It will recover fine.

Everyone isnt going to be bankrupt.

90% of the world isnt shut down.

[Rod Speed]

But you wouldn't need acceleration, stupid.

[Rod Speed]

But you are too stupid to even manage to find these

[Commander Kinsey]

It could be quicker than that. Your local friend or neighbour phones, then comes round to your house when you don't answer but he knows you're in. Or you're expecting a call at a certain time, then call them when they don't.

[Commander Kinsey]

I guess you're one of those who somehow managed to pay off the mortgage of the 1st three.