Does your Coffin have a Lifetime Warranty?

[Paintedcow]

Does your Coffin have a Lifetime Warranty?

Are there any exemptions or limitations in this warranty?

[Frank]

Don't think they warrant them anymore. Years ago when I prepaid my father's funeral expenses when he had to go into a nursing home.

I was offered 20 and 40 year warranties and said since he was going to be there forever why even offer them.

Not a facetious question.

[Scott Lurndal]

Coffins and vaults are a huge ripoff. A simple wooden box is sufficent. You don't need fancy pillows and matresses when you're dead and rotting away.

[AL]

What happens if the funeral home goes broke? Doesn't a lifetime warranty really mean for the lifetime of the issuing entity?

That would be my argument for cremation.

[cowabunga dude]

[micky]

If it weren't for the law in most parts of the US, you wouldn't even even need the box. I read that some people just bury someone in shrouds.

I think I read _The American Way of Death_. I think it said those laws were passed at the instigation of the funeral parlors.

[Ed Pawlowski]

Right, have to protect the business. I'm for cremation. Less space, less cost. Cemeteries are really for the living.

No viewing either. If you want to send flowers, bring them while I'm alive and we can have a drink and good conversation.

[Steve Stone]

My Mom put Dad in a guaranteed watertight metal coffin. She said she was worried because he didn't know how to swim.

[notbob]

NAFTA: Chapter 11

'nuff sed...... ;)

nb

[RedAlt5]

State Dept. of Corrections have their own cemeteries for dead prisoners who are unclaimed after death. They put no money into burials other than the cost of a body bag. Even markers are hand scratched info in a 14x14x2" wet concrete slab.

[FromTheRafters]

A co-worker of mine told me when his son passed away, that he had donated his body to science. He had gotten paperwork recently which indicated where the body would be going. He also told me how proud he was that his son would be the first in the family to go to medical school.

[Moe DeLoughan]

People tell me I ought to save my money So that I could be laid away in style In a walnut box with all the fancy trimmin' Vacuum sealed to keep me fresh awhile

But send me to glory in a Glad bag Don't waste a fancy coffin on my bones Just put me out on the curb next Tuesday Let the sanitation local bear me home

Sell all my worldly possessions And buy yourself a case or two of Pabst Let the empties be my memorial tombstone Engraven with this epitaph

Send me to glory in a Glad bag Don't waste a fancy coffin on my bones Just put me out on the curb next Tuesday Let the sanitation local bear me home

If I should die upon the eve of Christmas Just place my baggie by the Christmas tree And when the children; they open all their goodies The big surprise would be the death of me

Send me to glory in a Glad bag Don't waste a fancy coffin on my bones Just put me out on the curb next Tuesday Let the sanitation local bear me home

But maybe I am not bound for glory But to that other place I would not choose And if it seems that I'm headed in that direction Then an oven bag would be the thing to use

(Words and Music by Don & Mim Carlson/Steve Mason)

[micky]

Or you can be scattered in the orchestra pit at the Met and other opera houses.

[micky]

Which state is this?

I just heard a story on the radio about abandoned bridges in Maryland, and one led from the now-closed mental hospital across an interstate highway to a cleared piece of land in a 100 acre wooded area, where they buried all their unclaimed dead. I took a group hiking in the other end of those woods, and when I'm nearby I'm going to go see the graveyard. I think the bridge is still fine and it's only abandoned in that the hospital is closed, but if I can't drive over it I can walk.

When we went hiking, we were getting organized for quite a while adn someone came to talk to us. He was afraid we were going to hike on his side of the road where they had a nudist colony. I woudn't have even known about it if he hadn't come to tell us.

For where the hike was to be, down the road about 200 feet were No Trespassing signs, and one of the fuddy duddies on the hike complained to the new president of the club (I was the president for 6 or 7 years) that I had them violate the law. I had told them to say something like we didnt' see the sign or thought it applied 200 feet away. But it was a public hospital that had announced plans to sell the wooded land because it looked like they were never going to use it, so I thought we were all entitled to see it before the housebuildders cut all the trees down. If there had been 4 of us or so, I would have told the cops wer were looking at it to buy it, to build houses. But of course no cops bothered us. And it turns out it never got sold. I may go back there too because there seemed to be an abandoned canal?

>

[micky]

Too much said. It's been this way for 80 years or more and has nothing to do with nafta or chapter 11.

[micky]

They think moslems rot differently from other people?

I guess people in all metal caskets don't leach into the ground, but everyone in a wood casket does. Unless maybe the ground is always so dry it doesn't happen, but I'm sure that's rare.

Anyhow, if rotting were an issue, they'd have a rule about vaults or something. That's another thing that has been imposed on people, even those who don't want it, over the last 70 years.

Hmmm.

Actually I can see why someone wouldn't want to live next to a cemetery, especially superstitious or "sensitive" people/

As to bodies uncovered by rain, I think that mostly happened in the movie about the canoe trip, but come to think, that body was never buried.

However it did happen in Paris a little bit, plus they wanted the land for development, housing or something, so starting in 1786, they dug up every grave within the city limits and moved the bones to the Catacombs, created under some church on the Left Bank (at least the entrance was beside a church, I think. Or maybe I assumed it was some great expansion of the practice of entombing a few people in the basement ofsome chruches, but by what I read now, it seems they had been limestone mines, nothing to do with a church). They have tours once a week, and it's eerie. No electricity, each person gets a candle iirc. On either side of the aisle is a black chain link fence going to the ceiling, with the ends of thousands of long bones facing the aisle, and all the ribs and small bones piled behind them, and a skull facing the aisle at eye-level every 6 feet or so. I think maybe a plate, hard to read because of layers of paint, marked which cemetery each section was, but maybe not.

They count the people because once they lock the door, they don't open it again for almost 7 days. I took the tour and I took the tour of the sewers of Paris too, though that wasn't a full tour because the boats were not operating for some reason.

There were almost surely other cemeteries outside the city limits that were not affected.

I hear that is true.

[AL]

You made him trespass?? Don't think that defense would hold up at his trial.

The gosh I didn't see that speed limit sign officer defense?

Of course you're 'entitled' to break the law, isn't everyone?

Ah, an environmentalist protest hike then.

You sound like a very honest guy. I'm sure you would have come up with something.

BTW years ago I had some acreage and also had no trespassing signs up. Judging from the garbage I had to periodically remove some assholes were ignoring my signs too.