When he was a First Grader his Momma took him.
He was without Car and his Momma received a Kit, and the Kit was Good.
He raced a Block with Wheels - and the Block Sucked.
He did not Win, Place, nor Show.
And this Sucked.
When he was a Second Grader his Daddy took him.
His Daddy did not understand Pinewood but he was a Cabinetmaker and he helped the boy make a straight and true car from the Kit. It did not suck and the boy placed Third in his Pack.
The boy was happy and this did not suck.
His Daddy did not understand Pinewood.
This sucked.
This year the boy is a Bear Cub Third Grader.
His Daddy has studied Pinewood.
This year will not suck.
For Christmas this year the boy will receive devices that will true wheels and polish axles and show him the true path of Pinewood.
This year will not suck.
This year his Daddy will allow him to make whatever freakish design comes into his little mind and it will not suck - because it will not matter.
It is all about gravity and friction and his Daddy now understands.
This year will not suck.
This year the boy will have tungsten weights applied to the centerline so that the COG is one and one quarter inch forward of the rear wheels.
Of course, this means that the precut slots will have to be ignored so that the rear wheels can sit closer to the rear of the car. This means that the block o' pine will be drilled for the axles and will not depend on the default placement of those shabby crooked slots.
This year the stock axles will be denibbed and polished with the jeweler's rouge that is normally reserved for Daddy's best chisels. The underside of the nail heads will be coned and polished.
This year the wheels will be trued on the lathe and the hub coned to relieve the friction between hub and body. This year the internal part of the hub will be polished to an ungodly sheen.
This year will not suck.
This year the wheels will be packed with the appropriate lubricant, rather than a spit of WD-40.
This will stop some of the sucking.
This year the finish of the body will be lacquer and not paint, so that it can be polished to a degree where friction is only a possibility - but not an issue.
This year the boy will be taught why we sit the mass so far to the rear and why we worry so about friction.
I don't know how much of this he will get.
He may be informed but not yet educated.
But it will not suck.
This year the boy will learn to run the drill press.
This year the boy will learn to rough out on a well protected bandsaw.
This year the boy will learn how to polish objects on the lathe and drill press.
This year the boy will continue his education about the use of rasps and sandpaper.
This year the boy will get to run the HVLP in the spray booth.
This year the boy will be eight - but by the end of the year he will be nine.
None of this sucks.
This year his Daddy will face up to the runout issues of the drill press and lathe.
This might suck - a lot.
But, Daddy is a WoodDorker and not a freakin' machinist - so we can only take this thing so far.
But - you know what?
It will not suck.
It will be fun.
For both of us.
Yeehaa.
Tom Watson - WoodDorker tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (email)