Those "problem with your computer" calls

We were getting them pretty much every day until we moved house (thankfully don't seem to have got onto their list again yet). I always took the view that it was my civil responsibility to string them along for as long as possible (if I had time) as that way they couldn't be duping some poor unsuspecting person. I also use a mac but, even so, would never let them get to the point of having any access. They normally realise they're being strung along and hang up. I would consider it a compliment to receive a rant like that from one of them!

I did this recently. Strung them along for ten minutes or so - sounding suitably concerned and horrified at the number of 'error' reports in my windows log file. When I eventually let on that I knew it was a scam and hung up - he called me back and called me a 's**t faced motherf***er' !! Notice that they are always Asians?

I normally answer the phone with a "hello" and after a while I ask the chap who they're looking for. They normally know my name, and I say I'll go and get him. I leave the phone on mute and their patience normally lasts a few minutes before they ask if anybody's there and finally hangup. I really can't be arsed to maintain a conversation with them for 10 minutes!!

I had this once when having a problem with my broadband. Which I was certain was an exchange fault. The helpline guy just couldn't accept there were other OS than Windows. I just about changed ISPs there and then. But my original reason for going with that particular one was it was easy to set up using an non Windose system. ;-)

Assuming I have the time, I always string any of these cold callers along for as long as possible. Since they think it perfectly ok to waste my time.

In the office we have a Mr Nemo (Thats not what we call him but you'll get the idea) When we receive a nuisance call we say that's Mr Nemo's department and he only comes in once a week on Fri afternoon about

Then they hang up happy. They've got a name.

Strangely very few actually ring back on the Friday afternoon. If they do they get "So sorry you've just missed him"

Paul Mc Cann

Asia's a big place. Indian-type Asians, so they sound to me - in what's obviously a call centre.

I've had the same bloke ring me twice and another chappie another time.

Seems to be some sort of medium sized serious operation behind this scam: seems to be a call centre being run for the purposes of criminal fraud.

And while I'm at it: what exactly *is* the fraud they're up to?

One time I strung one of them along, I got a huge barrage of insults back when I got to the point that I told him I knew he was a fraudster, get a proper job, etc., etc. Rang me back to softly call me a d*****ad (repeated endlessly) down the line - to which I responded with a few words about how it wasn't *me* wasting my money-earning potential by ringing up some poor sod in England to insult him.

The *last* chappie started to claim to be unable to understand me when I started to explain just what I thought of his criminal behaviour. I had some fun with him... Some of them really do go ballistic at me. "No, your name's not Robert, with that accent it'll be something like Sanjay or Deepak". I'm *relentless* with the buggers.

Rowland.

Umm.

The issue here is what seems to be a well-organized call-centre based fraud, where you get cold-calls from the "Windoze Help Centre" about the problems you're having with your PC.

I assume they're trying to lift personal data or similar.

Rowland.

Another nice one is to ask them if they have anyone who speaks English.

They tell you how to access your windows log file. If you do that you will find that there are numerous 'error' reports and a fair few 'warning' reports. Every pc has a smattering of these. Every time a program closes down unexpectedly, for example, it will generate an error report.

Most people, of course, have never viewed the log file and so become concerned at the number of error reports.

They are then told that this is an indication of a serious infection on their machine and they will need to download a program to 'clean' it. They do, of course, have to pay for this program...

There are mugs born every minute. In the latest Which? magazine, there is a letter from a Mr Chadwick of Cheltenham who says he received one of these calls and paid £421.00 on his credit card to fix the problem and receive 'lifetime support' for future problems...

He could have replaced his laptop for less!

Fortunately for him (after Which? had intervened on his behalf), John Lewis (the credit card supplier) gave him a full refund.

No - they are trying to scam you into believing that they are from Microsoft, that there is a serious virus on your laptop, and only they can provide the necessary software to remove it. They then charge an extortionate amount (£421 for one mug) to download the software and provide (non existent) lifelong support.

Uhuh.

Ah!

Blimey! (how come I missed that one, I wonder?)

Coo!

Rowland.

(!)

I had a call from a fellow who called himself 'Myrtle'....

I had one who rang me, engaged me in conversation (all in perfectly servicable English) - then started (again in perfectly servicable English) to claim not to be able to understand English when I started to explain to him that I knew he was a criminal fraudster and should get a proper job instead of trying to con honest decent English people just getting on with their lives (etc etc until even I'm sick of it).

Rowland.

Hmm! And there was me thinking that if they're offering to sell you something, it's a total con and they're just after your credit card number.

The Beeb's man Rory Cellan-Jones (and that's Welsh, that is, so anyone calling him Mr Sellan with an English `ll' is getting it badly wrong) reckons they're sometimes after installing malware on your PC too.

Rowland.

I don't know why, but I think that's screamingly funny.

Oh dearie me.

Rowland.

Yes - I don't doubt it. The ultimate scam - getting a dupe to actually pay through the nose to have malware installed on his pc!!

Could be worse, could be a scottish call center :)

Ere Jimmy, at least we know how to spell it!

Phil Taylor