Those "problem with your computer" calls

[Steve Walker]

I spoke to one of those the other day, transferring my custom to them and away from a company with the most obstructive and unhelpful Indian call centres I have ever known - even to the extent of insisting that I must pay the company (TalkTalk) the outstanding months on the contract before they will release my phone line, depite that fact that they have breached the contract (hence me leaving); telling me that no supervisors or managers are available and dropping calls rather than transferring me to other departments that don't give out direct numbers. I did get it sorted in the end, but it took a lot of time and persistence and the lucky chance of accidentally being connected to a UK call centre.

I had a long and enjoyable chat with the Scottish operative and found that they'd regularly visited here (Manchester) as the woman that lived a few doors from us 'til recently was their aunt!

Now I'm beyond the sales point, it remains to be seen whether any customer queries/problems are dealt with as well.

SteveW

[Woody]

So that was more you were dealing with TalkTalk rather than the call centre thing.

I am sure they will - it is hard to not beat TalkTalk when you have problems!

[Trevor Wright]

My wife received one claiming to be from "Windows Security." She assumed it was double glazing and hung up.

[Richard Tobin]

Try asking them if their mother or wife knows what thbey do for a living; whether they imagine they have an honest job, working hard for their families when in fact they're thieves and liars. Ask them for their mother's phone number so you can call her and talk to her about it.

Or tell them you'll phone back. If they say they will call you instead, tell them that it's ok, your phone shows their number.

-- Richard

[John Rumm]

You can make up any bull you want really - most non techie users won't know any better. Sell them a line that there is a really nasty virus about that creates a folder called Prefetch, and installs loads of odd looking files in there that sometimes seem to share names with programs you have run etc... have them look at the machine and horror and mock surprise - there is a prefetch folder - you must have been got. Have a look in it, if you are lucky it will be empty! Oh no, its got lots of files, you have been got bad - just lucky we called you in time.

and so on...

Only that the files look a bit odd in naming convention so there is o danger of someone thinking "oh those are just documents" etc...

e.g.

10/11/2011 16:04 110,106 EXCEL.EXE-053431B8.pf 04/11/2011 12:08 89,814 EXCELCNV.EXE-282A1094.pf 04/11/2011 13:26 71,096 EXPLORER.EXE-35FB9FF9.pf 07/11/2011 19:45 54,170 FIREFOX.EXE-117861C6.pf 12/11/2011 21:23 24,092 FIXCFG.EXE-06722AF1.pf 07/11/2011 20:08 51,708 FNPLICENSINGSERVICE.EXE-2D4E4930.pf 04/11/2011 09:28 18,606 GOOGLECRASHHANDLER.EXE-2A9B59C5.pf 12/11/2011 18:29 57,196 GOOGLEEARTH-WIN-PLUGIN-6.1.0.-270D2679.pf 12/11/2011 18:29 22,900 GOOGLEEARTH.EXE-17707238.pf 06/04/2011 21:04 79,648 GOOGLEUPDATE.EXE-0FABB14F.pf 12/11/2011 22:28 33,628 GOOGLEUPDATE.EXE-10958525.pf 12/11/2011 02:11 94,266 HELPSVC.EXE-2E005129.pf 26/10/2011 02:11 23,064 IMAPI.EXE-16F8F6E6.pf 07/11/2011 19:46 24,048 IPCONFIG.EXE-3281CCDD.pf

[Rowland McDonnell]

Oooh! Yes, I do like that idea. Oooh /very/ yes! Thank you.

(it's actually technically feasible in many cases - the `block caller ID' signal actually tells the receiving equipment to not display caller ID rather than telling the transmitting equipment not to send the data... So where can I get a dodgy phone with this feature `hot wired'?)

Rowland.

[Rowland McDonnell]

Ah - righto. Thanks. Makes sense.

Hmm - odd indeed, not that I use Dark Side machinery these days, but I get the idea.

Cheers, Rowland.

[Simon Finnigan]

I've found that trying to make the caller cry stops them calling back. They don't care about being insulted, but you tell a macho man on the phone that he sounds fit, ask him what he's wearing etc and he'll instantly decide that you're gay, he can't possibly talk to anyone who's gay in case he "catches" it and will make sure to get your number taken off the list in case he has to call you again. I did once make a woman cry by claiming she had sex with hamsters - don't know why it upset her, I don't even know why I said hamsters, it was the first thing to jump into my head :-)

[Rowland McDonnell]

[SNIP]

I get a few legit sales calls, now and then - despite being signed up with the TPS. It's definitely helped. Some legit firms just ignore the TPS, and there's not a lot you can do about it if they do (not in practical terms - the only option seems to be to write to the offending firm, which probably wouldn't do anything but get you even more sales calls and sales bumf even if you could find out the address of the firm).

Another thing which helped was, if the call was legit, explaining in very stern tones how it is that I want the call centre drone to ensure that I never receive any calls from their firm ever again. You'll need to repeat the instruction and prod 'em until they verbally confirm their intention to comply with your wishes.

Anyway, having done that with all the seemingly legit sales/survey calls I've had over the last year or so, I think I've finally got 'em all of my back for now.

(I think it was only two firms ignoring the TPS, based on nothing more than gut feeling and the creaking of my bones)

Rowland.

[Calum]

Also bear in mind that the TPS isn't supposed to stop *all* sales calls anyway. Until you ask them to stop, companies that you do business with, and any company that you've given your contact details to in the past for any reason, are still allowed to phone you to sell you any old crap whether you're signed up to the TPS or not.

[Roger Chapman]

I have just had one of these calls. There was an echo of what I was saying on the line which could possibly be a instructor leading a trainee through the procedure. Unfortunately the call came as I was eating my dinner so didn't have much time to play along. After thanking her for the information that my computer was infected (this caused some sort of confusion and I was asked to repeat) I asked her to ring back later so if all goes to plan she will be phoning again tomorrow.

[Ian]

The truth about help desks....

min 35 ...... watch until the end!!!

[Simon Dobbs]

On Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:12:57 +0000, Tim Streater wrote (in article ):

It seems that I have been missing some Very Good Sport here. We have anonymous call reject, and also do not answer international calls and calls that do not present their number as a matter of course. I think I may now pick up a few international calls, and purport to be my own personal security guard, who is sometimes sent to foreign countries to 'sort out' people who annoy me.

[Rowland McDonnell]

[snip]

Do be aware that threatening behaviour is actually a crime most places.

- although I've an idea you're well aware of this and are intending to take the point into account.

Rowland.

[Roger Chapman]

No return call so they must have either seen through my 'too polite to be true' response or they read this ng. :-)

[Steve Walker]

I thought it was the final exchange that read the signal and either transmitted the number or withheld it.

I once saw my mobile phone flash up a number while I was on holiday in France and then revert to withheld. It was very lucky because I couldn't answer as I was driving, they didn't leave a message and it was an important call - that momentary flash let me call back to the hospital near home and bring forward my apointment for lung and chest biopsies that I was desperately waiting for.

SteveW

[Simon Dobbs]

On Thu, 17 Nov 2011 03:38:14 +0000, Rowland McDonnell wrote (in article ):

Of course, but is a statement bemoaning the fact that one is sent to do bad things a threat?

[The Other Mike]

...and somehow ringing random numbers and telling users they have a problem with a computer, often causing distress isn't, or if it is then it is clear that no one at plod central, BT and HMG can be bothered to sort it out.

Fuck 'em. Let THEM feel threatened, with a bit of luck they'll leave and get a proper job.

[Rowland McDonnell]

IANAL. Doesn't sound like it to me...

Good luck :-)))

Rowland.

[Rowland McDonnell]

They're fraudsters: it's serious crime they're playing at.

When they ring me, I try to ensure that they are the ones who end up distressed. It's the only thing I can do to provide me with satisfaction. Officialdom doesn't seem to give a shit about that sort of crime.

Yup. Shit, innit?

My thinking is: as you know, Plod *does* take threatening behaviour seriously, even if they don't give a shit about the serious crimes of the telephone fraudsters.

And when Plod comes knocking at your door to haul you off down the nick for some questioning on account of complaints backed by evidence of your threatening behaviour, I think you'll find that explaining to them your reasoning above won't do a thing to spare you the time and bother you'll be put to.

Yes yes I know you've not threatened these people, I'm just giving an example of what could happen if you did.

Rowland.