Maybe someone here can help me get serious advice.
My step-father is in his early 80's but may be at the beginning stages
of Alzheimer's. About a year ago he got a speeding ticket and was
totally unaware that he was going too fast. He was clocked at 109 MPH in
a 65 zone...so it was pretty serious.
He insisted he was just careless and was OK to drive.
Today he got into a minor fender bender and from the details I got, it
was his fault...but the police issued no tickets.
When there is an accident I thought someone always must be issued a ticket.
What can I do ? My mother is in total denial that anything is the matter.
I don't believe that tickets are automatically issued in the case of an
In Alberta you can report the incident to the Transportation ministry
who will investigate and make a determination on how to proceed.
Not sure where you are at, but at least the government is the bad guy
It's a very tough position to be in, good luck with this.
Thanks for the reply.
My first step will be to level with my step-dad and insist he get a
medical exam and have a doctor make a judgment as to whether or not he
should be driving.
If worse comes to worse I can report this to the DMV (Wisconsin) and
they can evaluate the situation.
My sister had a similar problem with her FIL, who also lives in
Wisconsin. She and her husband spoke to her FIL's doctor about their
concerns regarding his driving. The doctor agreed with them, but in
the family meeting, the doctor wussed out and sided with the FIL. So
his son had no choice but to take it up with the DMV. His dad lost his
license, but his car was still parked in his garage. His son had to
take the car away after he discovered his dad's caregiver was A.
letting his dad drive it, and B. driving it herself.
My elderly neighbor lost her license after she got t-boned at a busy
intersection in a high-traffic part of town. She insisted that the
other driver was at fault, but the state yanked her license and told
her she'd have to pass a reflex test and a road test in order to get
it back. She failed the reflex test and furiously blamed it on the
woman the DMV had assigned to be her coach/driving instructor. She
then decided not to even try the road test, but continued to insist
there was nothing wrong with her driving ability.
My elderly mother got cited for driving past a school bus that had its
stop arm extended. Turns out that's not just a moving violation here,
it's a misdemeanor, with a mandatory court appearance. After a
discussion with the court clerk, I told them we'd just plead her
guilty. The city attorney then offered my mom a deal - well, two
actually: 1. drop the charge if my mom took and passed a road test
(mom scowled and shook her head); 2. drop the charge if my mom had no
further traffic violations over the next year. We took the second
deal, and it persuaded my mom to give up driving. Thankfully, because
there were two prior incidents where she got lost while driving in her
It can be very, very difficult getting people to give up their keys,
even when they've got friends and family right at hand to do the
driving for them.
In my state the police must have probable cause to issue a traffic
citation at an accident scene. There are accidents where there is not
enough evidence to determine fault, thus no traffic citations are
One example is at a signalized intersection where both drivers claim
they had the green light. With no independent witnesses or cameras to
determine the light color at the time of the collision there would be
no citations issued.
Also in my city the police do not investigate no injury/minor
damage/no alcohol accidents. Drivers are instructed to exchange
information and contact their insurance companies. There are no
citations issued here either.
In my state any citizen or police officer can write a letter to the
MVD with particulars. They will investigate and can call the person in
for further testing. If they determine he is no longer qualified to
drive they will revoke his drivers license.
Yes. I guess the police thought that they were doing him a favor by
being lenient. In this case, I think they needed to look further.
I will be facing my step-dad ASAP and will contact the motor vehicle
dept if he is stubborn.
I should add that we did this successfully with my mom.
It was win-win in a sense: dad's eyesight had failed and he was forcing
her to drive even she knew how impaired she was. She didn't want to
drive and then, unable to pass the test, was relieved.
Exactly, it's surprising what Dr's can do. I have several
freinds that have had to deal with the same issue. Worried
about how to take the keys from Dad and not be the bad guy.
Doctors deal with this all the time and have no problem
being the "bad guy"
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