This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit. The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails. The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier." The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It will save you some money."
---------
Q: What is yellow and VERY annoying? A: A bananananananananananananananana
Or a 2mm used thrice... Sheeesh.
I guess for that to work, you need a *power* drill.
Clever...
Believe it or not, I had a similar experience at the local BORG.
I went in to buy some shelf pins for a cabinet that I was making. The only ones they had required a 5mm hole for the pin. Being old school, all of my brad point bits are standard SAE dimensions. I asked the "sales associate" for a 5mm brad point bit, but he told me they dind't carry them.
I questioned why they sell 5mm shelf pins but not 5mm brad point bits, he answered, "must be because they are made in China"!
It was all my son and I could do to keep from laughing in his face as we left the store.
Joe aka 10x
PS
We eventually found the 1/4" pins at the local blue BORG.
Probably a relative of the "associate" I heard in another big box store, telling two how to find brick molding. She sent the guys to plumbing supplies.
Unfortunately, my story is true.
Mine is true too. Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. I took the whole bunch back, along with my hacksaw and a short piece of rebar to show how the blades wouldn't cut it. The young "sales associate" looked at me incredulously and announced, "That's metal, no saw blade is going to cut metal." I suggested he learn more about the tools he is trying to sell before arguing with customers and that he get me a manager.
DonkeyHody
I can't verify the authenticity of this one, but my friend tells me it's true:
While shopping with his wife for some refinishing products to do their diningroom table, they were looking at different methods. Looking at one of them, he said to his wife that this method sounded like a good one, but that it would require some elbow grease. Without missing a beat, the attending 'sales associate' said: " I don't know where we keep that stuff."
And it's not just our type of big box store: some weeks ago, I was in the Roanoke Best Buy looking for a new radio for my pick-up. I described the vehicle dash, which has a large stock opening, currently holding the expensive POS stock radio. He tells me I need a wiring harness for that. I looked at him. "Why do I need a wiring harness?" He rstated that I need a wiring harness to fit the new radio into the dash. I said, "Bullshit." That upset my wife. He then grabbed a box off the display and shoved it at me, saying, "Here it is, a wiring harness."
It was a face plate kit, of course. Wiring harness?
Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do schools teach reading any more? Do all these youngsters think anyone over 25 is too damned stupid to know anything about anything they are looking to buy? I was wiring helicopters before this twerp's daddy was born, so I do have some knowledge of what a wiring harness is and how it is used.
All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
Charlie,
Same reason that if you mention 'Local Real Estate Tax' to my wife . . . watch her EXPLODE !! It is 'designated' for the local school system. Mostly goes to OVER PAID teachers . . . using their 'production' as a datum line. This is a quiet suburb of Philadelphia, NOT an 'inner city war-zone'.
{Joanne grew up in what were 're-conditioned' WWII barracks at the outer-fringes of Philadelphia. Her parents were probably what is 'politically correct' today - 'working poor'. Definitely no where intelligent enough to help with her homework, she still achieved entrance to Temple University . . . as a PHYSICAL CHEMIST !! Me? - I'm just a 'dumb ex-GI {USAF} that worked & struggled his way through college. It was my innate drive and curiosity, love of reading, and ability to apply what I learned, that got me various jobs in Engineering.}
At least the one you dealt with was 'working'. In my neighborhood that seems to be a bad word. Sometimes I think you are right on the mark . . . they DON'T teach reading. Nor History - if something happened more then 30 days in the past . . . they have NO knowledge of it. Same thing for 'simple' logical thinking.
Then there is . . .
{Better stop now . . . and take my meds . . .}
Regards, Ron Magen Backyard Boatshop
"Charlie Self" wrote ... SNIP
Robatoy offers:
True stories: I used to work in a very prominent retail hardware store. We would get some odd questions, on occasion.
Lady calls and asks "ya know those 8x10 tarps you have advertised? Which way does the 8 go and which way is the 10?"
When mixing and selling paint in the paint department, we would always tell our customers buying large quantities of gallon sized paint cans to "box" their paint to ensure a good color continuity. This of course meant mixing the gallons together for color consistency. After a very large order of custom mixed paint was delivered to a customer so they could paint their house and trim, we got the phone call. I know, I know, but you're getting ahead of me. She was yelling about how the color was all wrong. Turns out, she mixed the main color with the trim color!
Had a lady come into the tool department. Her husband had sent her in to buy a 90 degree attachment for his electric drill. I showed her the item on the shelf. She balked at the price and asked, "well, couldn't he just bend the drill bit?
Rock tumbler display on an end-cap. Lady standing there for a long time, studying the tumblers and rock samples. We had rough rocks on one side and tumbled rocks on the other side of one of the tumblers. When I enquired if she needed help, she looked at me with a knowing smile and said, "you can't tell me those are the same rocks!"
Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.
You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used to it.
Hey now, when I pick the same colour she likes, I'm right....
r
The last 20 years haven't been as bad as the first 20. Different wives, of course.
Billy Bob and Bubba are working on a finish-out job and Bubba is putting up sheetrock. Billy Bob notices that Bubba is closely inspecting each nail he pulls out of his pouch, and only using about half of them, tossing the others away. Puzzled, he asks Bubba what's wrong with those nails. Bubba pulls a nail from his pouch with the point towards him and says "See, this nail is defective. The head is on the wrong end!" Bubba jumps right in an says "You idiot! Save those for the other side of the wall!"
Ahhh, the joys of serial monogamy...
You're still WRONG, OK?
;)
heh heh I can relate! My wife has walked away many times when I was compeled to tell some idiot that guess what HE'S an IDIOT! Then I catch it from her for being honest! (But she always takes me with her to buy a new car) Gotta love those pushy sales people for fun. Kenneth
Same here. Margaret says that we both had our practice marriages. This one is for real. Gotta love her. ooooze, jo4hn
I don't know your Margaret, but dreamt many times about this one:
THE DUTCHMAN
The dutchman's not the kind of man To keep his thumb jammed in the dam that holds his dreams in But that's a secret only Margaret knows When Amsterdam is golden In the morning Margaret brings him breakfast, she believes him He thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow He's mad as he can be, but Margaret only sees that sometimes Sometimes she sees her unborn children in his eyes
Chorus: Let us go to the banks of the ocean Where the walls rise above the Zuider Zee Long ago, I used to be a young man And dear Margaret remembers that for me
The dutchman still wears wooden shoes His cap and coat are patched with love that Margaret sewed in Sometimes he thinks he's still in Rotterdam He watches tugboats down canals And calls out to them when he thinks he knows the captain 'Till Margaret comes to take him home again Through unforgiving streets that trip him though she holds his arm Sometimes he thinks that he's alone and calls her name
The windmills swirl the winter in As she winds his muffler tighter, they sit in the kitchen And the tea with whiskey keeps away the dew He sees her for a moment Calls her name, she makes his bed up, humming some old love song She learned it when the tune was very new He hums a line or two, they hum together in the night The dutchman falls asleep and Margaret blows the candle out
..........................................
Many have recorded that song...but Steve Goodman's version tears me to shreds.
HomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.