OT Failure to purchase condoms

Next stop, tesco express?

Most of the convenience shops in the village shut at 9pm. We could not be arsed to walk to the open ones or the 24 hour petrol station.

Many moons ago we used to use liquid He for cooling cryostats, superconducting magnets etc. The depth of liquid helium remaining in the Dewar was measured using a form of 'clacker'

So a shag-free night ? :-(

You should have said "can I have some Johnny Cash". I wonder if the slang term "johnny" is as common in America. Apparently (according to Wikipedia and a few other sources) he was actually named "J R Cash" and was not officially given a first name on his birth certificate. It was only when he went to serve in the Air Force that he had to invent a first name John because the Air Force system couldn't handle simple initials. But I'm guessing that "Johnny Cash" doesn't have the same ribald connotations as it does here.

That is silly boots always have them.

Brian

Maybe this is the real shortage due to Brexit? Brian

On 22/02/2019 19:36, ARW wrote: [snipped amusing tale]

When I was a young man I went into the chemists in some trepidation (I was a shy boy) to buy condoms. I was alarmed to see and attractive older woman (older as in maybe 30) behind the counter but strode up with confidence and said 'Do you have condoms?'. She looked me in the eye and said 'What size?' She watched me squirm and stammer for what seemed like an age before saying "A pack of three or of six?"

TW

In this age? I find it a little bit odd. Its hardy the silly dirty secret it used to be before the permissive 60s is it after all, even Virgin made them. Brian

Buy two when you find a supplier, then you can be one jump ahead. Or buy

Not for me and my gf.

For his future reference if he goes into the local family planning clinic they give them away. Free, gratis, and for nothing.

Andy

and the lady said, "Four dozen, f*ck me!", to which he replied, "ok, make it a round 50 then".

:-)

Rather like the American chap at a posh party where he sees a well to do lady smoking a cigarette in a cigarette holder.

"Excuse me maam, but I could not help noticing that little holder you have for your cigarette, I have never seen one of those before... Might I ask what its for?"

She said "Its just to prevent m getting nicotine stains on my fingers".

"Neat idea, where do you get them?"

"Oh I got this one in my local chemist"

So he strolls into Boots and says to the girl behind the counter,

"Do you sell..." realised he does not actually know the proper name for them, "... preventatives in here?",

to which she replies coyly,

"And what size would sir like?",

"Oh, big enough to fit a Camel".

I know. You get a carrier bag full of them if you ask (or used to do when I was a teenager).

That's because:

a) All young men nowadays are gay, and b) There are now tablets you can take for AIDS.

The story goes that, during WW2 they were developing underwater mines and wanted something that would dissolve at a predictable rate. Turns out a toroid is good for a close ratio of volume to surface area. Polo mints turned out to be just the thing.

To protect the mints from water until deployed, condoms were most suitable.

Apparently those charged with quietly procuring substantial supplies of the materials got a bit of a reputation at the local shops.

Chris

More likely they were imported US "Lifesavers" which were the same lifebuoy shape both mint and candy and had been going since 1912

michael adams

...

I stand corrected. Polos had been "developed" by Rowntree by 1939, so only 27 years after Clarance Crane's Lifesaver "breakthrough". Howver the onset of the war and subsequent rationing delayed their introduction until 1948 when presumably it was Mr Bergewell who pressed the relevant button to get the machine rolling.

michael adams

...