Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Obama " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie,
up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I
am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news ! How big is
your army ?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is meself, me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one
and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above!", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. " President Obama, the war is
still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jumpins!" said Archie, "l'll have to call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry
to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
Canadian and Proud of it !!