In case anyone is interested, we now have a cat.
Didn't need to try and sneak to Scotland, we had him couriered. I hadn't thought of that and once it came apparent that it was 'a thing' I was sure it would be prohibitively expensive.
But given that it saved me a 400+ round trip that we were planning to do over 2 days and stay in a hotel, not too bad.
Anyway, he's an absolute hoot and a joy to have around (and i'm not a cat person) and the missus is chuffed, which is taking the edge off all the other s*it going on right now.