Are you the homeowner?

Inventive and expressive are not the same thing

"Wouldst thou not prefer to perambulate to some other fine residence to ply your trade ?"

Nah

Plain anglo-saxon every time

That's as maybe, but my home is mine; I paid my mortgage off some 5 years ago.

That's not playing the game. Get a new one to finance your dreams. Dubai holiday home?

I'm rather old fashioned; I regard being in debt as a bad thing, and like to pay cash for the things I want, so far as is possible. And if I can't afford them, then I go without.

The country would be in a considerably better state if it operated the same way.

(Oh, and I'd rather gouge my eyes out with red-hot spoons than buy a holiday home in Dubai.)

That's the way things used to be. I remember when it was necessary to make an appointment to see the bank manager then grovel to him for a loan of £200.

Now I have credit cards with a limit of £15000 (and rising). No wonder there is so much debt.

Actually, the only time I went to see my bank manager for a loan (to buy a car), the only question he asked me was "Is that enough?"

Pick a language that is contrary to your expected ethnicity.

"Chukogo wakarimasen"

Japanese for "I do not understand chinese".

JGH

Wiz that no the Glencoe Massacre?

Owain

Say "yes, can you just mind the kids for half an hour whilst i nip out", push past them and shout byee as you leg it up the road.

or just start ranting on about gordon brown and how mad he makes you that he's let all these spivs do the door to door enquiries

or tell them you're a member of the "door privacy service" and he's incurred a £100 fine for breaching the rules on being allowed to knock at your door and if he could pay up quickly that'd be great.