Age related

Dec 12, 2017 122 Replies

You know you're old when :-

Your partner asks you to come upstairs and make love and you know you can't do both.

Your doctor tells you to slow down and not the Police.

You find yourself saying "ouch" before you bend down.

Your definition of "getting lucky " changes to mean "finding the car in the car park".

When you don't mind where your partner goes out to, so long as they don't ask you along too.

The correct response was:- "I hope you haven't bought me anything!"

You go to get something and when you get there you can't remember what it was.

You can't remember new aquaintances' names. (You can remember everyone in your class fifty odd years ago.) When you meet them today, you can't recognise them.

Various aches and pains start to set in.

You find 99.99% of TV boring.

You like to watch "Dads Army".

You think there has been no good music since ABBA.

You find 99% (and increasing) of women attractive.

Always assuming you could get the lid off and the contents wasn't either dried up or full of rust.

I put extra paint in little glass jars. Takes less room, easy to see the colour, doesn't go rusty (I put a piece of cling film over the top before screwing down the lid).

You get down to do your shoe laces, and then wonder if there is anything else that needs doing while you down there!

What I used to spend on 12 pints a night [1] won't buy 2 pints and a packet of nuts now.

Owain

[1] Or could have; I didn't.

You nod in agreement with Victor Meldrew instead of laughing at him.

Owain

You start buying clothes and shoes with elastic instead of buttons/zips/laces.

Owain

Best not to forget to mention how young police officers look these days.

Nice idea, just as long as you make a record of what was in the original tin in case you need more of it than the jar contains.

or how short most of em are!

You stop meeting relatives at weddings and start meeting them at funerals.

Yes. I print out a little label. I print _lots_ of little labels - I learnt the hard way, that stuff you're absolutely sure you'll remember, will be forgotten by the time you need it.

IMHO the saddest sign is when attractive young women[1] strike up conversations with you just like they didn't when you were younger :(

[1] or other persons[2] of your preference

I had two people offer to help me carry my shopping last week!!!

Owain

No.

Yes.

Hope not.

Unless you live in a council house - no.

No.

Yes. Push the fridge door to make sure it is closed.

My hairdresser cracked a good joke today. "How do you comb your hair?".

Tim

Unless he's a really lucky chappie, he's either *not* hit a certain age or else is wetting the bed. :-)

Luckily, I get my eye checked anyway to check that none of the moles in

*that* one have gone bad.

As for getting up in the night to pee - no more. Not after the op in June!

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