A little light relief

Isn't the SNP about to pass legislation banning the hunting of Haggis?

On the contrary; all privately-owned haggis estates are to be brought into public ownership, a minimum haggis pricing policy will be introduced, and every baby haggis will get its own cardboard box to sleep in with a hand-signed photograph of Nicola Sturgeon to piss on.

Owain

I was reading today about someone who was asked what he'd like in a Secret Santa gift, and he just said "Something cool".

What he got was a can of Coke, and "Put me in the fridge, and I'll be cool. And - hint - I'm nearly twice as old as you". He used that clue to try and find which of the older people in the office had given it - no luck.

He did drink it - not a Coke fan, normally. Thought it tasted odd but he wasn't an expert. A colleague saw the empty can and went ballistic: "You DRANK it?"

Turned out he was the Secret Santa, and his hobby was collecting sealed old cans of stuff. He'd donated one of his prize cans - an unopened 35 year old can of Coke.

The victim survived with no ill effects.

Same here. With actual raw muince in.

1. for mfrs to divest themselves of any legal responsibility if a tin spoils
2. to get people to chuck & buy again

BB & Use by dates are frequently works of fantasy nowadays. Only some are realistic, primarily meat & prepared salads.

If you get food poisoning from tinned food you won't be squatting, you'll be in hospital trying to survive. Mortality is high.

NT

Cynical, but true :-)

They are about the only ones I tend to use. Other fresh products such as milk and cream, cheese etc., are usually fine. Noses and eyes are useful.

There was once a film or TV show where an old boy always sniffed the milk, driving his daughter (or DiL?) insane.

Indeed but, as Owain said, who would bother to open a bulging tin?

Ah! I thought the 35p was full price and an indication of how long ago you bought them. Mind you, I'm still not sure I can think of any circumstances where I would buy 72 tins of anything.

No deep fried haggis?

I must admit I would be dubious. I am more used to eating haggis that has been carried in to the sound of the pipes and cut with all due ceremony.

You already have paid. Everything is priced to pay for the overall waste, theft and running costs.

I?ll take your word for it. I like those Hovis biscuits with cheese.

Here in Lincolnshire it is Plum bread.

(It's nice without cheese asa well!)

TINNED Haggis???

Fruit cake and cheese used to be a ?Northern thing?. I?ve not seen it since living in the south.

On a trip to Scotland earlier this year we saw Haggis with Scallops. I was going to try it but they?d run out of Scallops.

I like haggis but tinned haggis seems unnatural.

That reminds me, I?m off to a St Andrew?s dinner in a few weeks and Haggis is on the menu.

I'm not sure about the horrible blended stuff but honey from a local beekeeper has preservative qualities - but he still has to put a notional BBE date on the label. Stupid.

It is probably farmed.

Wild haggis is the best.

;-)

I first met it in the old Rectory in a Yorkshire village in 1970 but have had it many, many times since in the South. It's one of my favourite bits of DIY: take plate; add Christmas cake; add cheese; rinse and repeat. (Wensleydale was the traditional Yorkshire cheese but I also like Lancashire or a crumbly cheddar. And to rinse with whatever you fancy: eg tawny port, Muscat.)

Yes, I think the way they force the baby haggi into little tubes so they grow cylindrically to fit into the tins is a bit cruel.

Like those square pigs they slice up for sandwich ham.

Owain