OT: Pizza and penises...I want answers

[dadiOH]

Like most everybody, I am beseiged with TV commercials claiming this and that. I wonder about the claims, especially these two which are especially egregious...

PIZZA Exactly what are these "better ingredients" about which Papa John crows? And why are they better? Does anyone besides Papa John thiink his pizza is better?

PENISES What happens if you take one of the pills, wind up with an erection lasting more than four hours and DON'T seek medical help? Does it explode? Implode to a shriveled organ never again to regain its current majesty?

How much more than four hours is safe? Is less than four hours - 3:45, say - safe?

And WTF even wants a four hour erection?? If memory serves, an hour or so should be plenty. Suppose you pop the pill, spend an hour or so satisfying yourself and lover, still have the erection and want to go somewhere, church for example; or a restaurant. What do you do, sit there with a hat in your lap?

Just asking...

[Leon]

Don't you remember being a teenager? LOL

[Swingman]

No problemo ... turn the TV back on and simply force yourself to listen to the last 50 seconds of ANY of the abundant 60 second pharmaceutical commercials.

The multitude of side effects mentioned, "including death", should be quite sufficient to cause any erection to subside.

[Swingman]

Yeah ... right before the bell rang, and you had to walk, three legged, to the next class.

[Doug Winterburn]

However, the lawyer commercials will tell you that if you die, you can collect from those nasty drug companies!

[Swingman]

True ... you're right. You could then save 50 seconds, and get sick enough to lose an erection at the same time.

[krw]

Hell, just flip it over to any modern "sit com". It'll have you bowing before the porcelain god within ten seconds.

...and cure whatever ills the stuff they're peddling is supposed to. "Moderate to Severe ______" isn't so bad, after all.

[woodchucker]

I'm not touching that with a 10' pole...

:-)

[Morgans]

PENISES

The trapped blood is not circulating, and becomes useless in nourishing the tissue, so the unit begins to become necrotic (like rotting, dead) and is damaged permanently. It could even get gangrene and need to be amputated.

[woodchucker]

Oh geez... not my dick?

[Meanie]

An hour? LMAO! You must not be getting old.

[Doug Miller]

Meanie wrote in news:lh79pi$nod$ [e-mail]:

Are you kidding? The older I get, the longer *everything* takes. What I used to do all night, now takes all night to do.

My dad (age 82) recently told of taking so long at the urinal in a public restroom that the motion sensor turned the lights out on him.

[Swingman]

Hadn't got that far, yet. But I have stood in front of one long enough for it to flush itself ... and for no damned reason!

[krw]

A case of "use it *and* lose it"?

[Doug Miller]

"Mike Marlow" wrote in news:lh7avl$2bi$1@dont- email.me:

I'm not quite at that point yet.

I'm not at that point yet either... but this has happened to me more than once: after I've been there a while already, some young guy walks in, uses the next one over, finishes, washes up, dries his hands, combs his hair ... and I'm still not finished.

[woodchucker]

Yea, makes you feel old...

[Lew Hodgett]

--------------------------------------------------------------- I don't know about an app, but there is a pill for that.

Lew

[Just Another Joe]

Or two 6' Irishmen ;-)

[dadiOH]

"Doug Miller" wrote in message news:XnsA2FFA6BBD45C3dougmilmaccom@78.46.70.116

You just brought up another source of irritation: urinals.

When I was a kid, all the public ones were those full length jobbies. No matter how far apart you spread your feet you were likely to get splashed. There was even a ditty..."If your dick is short or your pressure is weak, stand up close or you'll piss on your feet.".

Then somebody got smart and wall mounted them so that one could sort of snuggle into them, no splashing. Unfortunately, a few decades ago, they also started to hang them lower, splash was back.

At first I thought the lower hanging was to accomodate Japanese tourists - I lived in Hawaii - but when I moved back to the mainland they were here too. Maybe they are for kids? I have no objection to that but IMO most should be up higher for us adults. That's the way it is some places but others have nothing except the down low ones.

[Meanie]

I have a friend who was using a urinal while at a nightclub. Urinals were separated by the wall partitions but didn't extend to the floor. A drunk at the next urinal didn't realize he was completely missing the target and was pissing on my friends shoes. Needless to say, he was pissed (pun intended) and the topic of our jokes for the next few days.

I agree, those things need to be higher and it wouldn't hurt to extend the partition to the floor.