OT: for those among you who mess with music

Too funny!

I can attest to much of this. I played the trombone in high school. The idiot band teacher moved the trombone section (me, much of the time) behind the flutes. A good time was had, by some. ;-)

I quite liked this one...

Q. What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A. They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

"What does it mean when the drool runs out both sides of the drummer's mouth?" "The stage is level."

"What do you call a drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend?" "Homeless."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?" "A flat miner."

What note should you keep in mind when crossing the street?

C? or B?

Mike is not going to be happy with you. ;-)

Naw, you usually have to explain these jokes to drummers ...

Naw, you usually have to explain these jokes to drummers ...

What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline ? Take off your boots when you jump on a trampoline.

And even then, they usually don't get them...

Trust me, I've heard them all... told most of them... and even written quite a few. :-)

Don't get me wrong, I always liked drummers - the drum cases are great places on which to sit in the back of the van ...

I heard that drummers were forced to sit in the back of the bus.

krw wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

When I was roadieing, many a moon ago, I quickly realized that the drummer was far and away the strongest guy in the band. No-one was going to force him to do anything.

John

Ok, here we go... just off the top of my head. (I didn't check the link to see if any of these are repeats.)

What do you throw a drowning lead guitar player? His amp.

How do you know there's a lead guitarist is at your door? The knocking speeds up.

How do you know there's a chick lead singer at the door? She can't find the right key and doesn't know when to come in.

How many chick singers in Nashville does it take to sing "Crazy" by Patsy Cline? Apparently, all of them.

Did you hear about the band who locked their keys in the van? It took them two hours to get the bass player out.

Did you hear about the guy who made a living playing trombone? Neither has anyone else.

What's the difference between a mezzo-soprano and a warthog? Lipstick.

What's the difference between a musician and a mutual fund? Eventually a mutual fund will mature and make money?

What's the difference between a musician and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a lead guitarist and God? God doesn't think He can play guitar.

Did you hear about the banjo player who parked his car in the street and left his banjo in the back seat? When he got back to his car, the window was broken out and there were two banjos in the back seat.

And just for me... How do you get the drummer off your porch? Pay for the pizza.

I'm here all week.

In my high school years, I played flute and oboe in a Sea Cadet corps. Marching in the drill hall was land-locked misery because the trombonist beside me always managed to be in eighth position at the end of the hall, when we had to wheel for the turn.

How do you know there's a bodhran player at the door? The knocking gets faster and louder . . .

Eighth position, that *is* bad. ;-)

When I was in the (football) marching band, the same band eader would have me in the coreography with the Susaphones, often in a pinwheel the opposite direction of same. He'd yell at me for ducking but self-preservation always prevailed. The 'bone was mine. The school owned the Susaphones.

That's the one! I couldn't recall the name of that instrument.

I always liked this one:

"Then there was the bodhran player who remembered that he had left his bodhrán in his unlocked car. Rushing back, he opened his car door to find two more bodhráns in the back seat."

New on this site:

"Fellow walks into a pub in Belfast with a plastic bag under his arms. The bartender asks "What's that?" "Six pounds of semtex", he answers. "Thanks be to Jaysus; I thought it was a bodhrán!"

nb

In kindergarten I played the triangle. I was hoping to make a career of it, but had no luck so far.

The music teacher I had in junior high school was an interesting guy. A few us from the band used to hang around in the music room after school. One afternoon he broke out the reel-to-reel and we made a tape loop of us saying beep-boop and tapping a triangle and making other noises.

I forget the exact set up but we used some type of cylinder on a stick (a broomstick, maybe?) so that the loop was something like 10' long. I remember that we had all kinds of problems keeping the tension right so it would keep running past the heads at the right speed but we figured something out.