O/T: It Pays to Be Old

Recently made e-mail contact with a 92 year old relative.

She sent this to me.

Enjoy.

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An oldie but good to read again.

Sometimes it pays to be old.

No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.

The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school.

It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet.

Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home.

There, she counted the money--fifty-thousand dollars.

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers."

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door.

Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.

One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning"

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . "

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here."

Reply to
Lew Hodgett
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Well, shoot, there had to be SOME benefits. I'm at the stage now where I no longer have to ask for senior citizen discounts, and that bugs me enough to make me wish the discounts were large enough to mean something. Let's face it: 10% off on a sausage biscuit isn't going to fatten anyone's bank account.

Reply to
Charlie Self

10% isn't bad if you're buying for your kids and grandkids and get the discount on the entire order ;-)
Reply to
John

"Charlie Self" wrote

Yabbut, that sausage biscuit will definitely fatten something else.

Reply to
Swingman

10% off a sausage biscuit would not matter anyways. I couldn't digest it. Not 20 years old anymore.
Reply to
Phisherman

My kids and grandkids have a lot mroe money than I do. They can buy, without a discount.

Reply to
Charlie Self

Its predecessors have already done that. The single curse I've found of quitting smoking 18+ years ago has been the weight gain. Those taste buds came back to life with a vengeance. So the skinny kid is now a fat assed old man.

I was looking through the graduation book for my platoon at Parris Island the other day...most of us seem to be all hat, ears and Adam's apple.

Reply to
Charlie Self

Consider the alternative. You could be dead a number of years from lung cancer. At least the fat assed old man's taste buds get to operate once in awhile. Much better than eating dirt.

Reply to
Upscale

Considering the shape I'm in now and the way I was breathing then, much of it with the help of tobacco, I figure I'd have been dead about

14-15 years ago, so it truly is all gravy since then.
Reply to
Charlie Self

At least you quit in time. My older brother didn't. In a few weeks, it will be eleven years since he died of cancer.

He was forty-eight.

Enjoy being a fat-assed old man with children and grandchildren. Spend every moment with them that you can. They'd rather have you fat and alive than skinny and dead. My brother didn't even live to see his daughter's wedding.

Reply to
Doug Miller

Hey Charlie I got a kick when I found one of your books (on dog houses) in a used book store, If it had been on kitchen cupboards I'd bought it.....either way I suppose it wouldn't have helped with the "more money" thing. Rod

Reply to
Rod & Betty Jo

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