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How to murder people with wood?

I want to be a serial killer and I want to use wooden weapons.

What can I build with wood to kill people and how can I avoid being arrested by the cops?

Reply to
Ed Zagmoon
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Why would you post this? Do you think it is funny, or is there another reason?

Reply to
Toller

Does the word troll mean anything to you?

Reply to
Lee Michaels

Sure, but troll are funny or clever. This one is just dumb; it doesn't qualify as a troll.

Reply to
Toller

I recommend buying a wooden stick. Buy a good one. Pay about $100 for it- even though the saleperson says its only worth $10. That way it will magically increase in potency to a higher level. Use the magic words- "Keep the change, sucker!!!!"

Sharpen the stake. Use your own ass for that. It will help cure your hemoroid ailments if you have them.

Next step, stab yourself in the heart. If you don't succeed - lie on the ground holding the stake- that way, when a Mack Truck goes up it will assist the penetration process.

Last step, you will become a vampyre, a member of the undead!! That way the cops will never be able to catch you!!!!

Best wishes,

Wylie Wilde

Reply to
Blackadder

Use your head.

Reply to
Lee K

Sun, Oct 29, 2006, 7:51pm (EST-3) spartan snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com (Ed=A0Zagmoon) doth burbleth: I want to be a serial killer and I want to use wooden weapons. What can I build with wood to kill people and how can I avoid being arrested by the cops?

Well, won't actually elevate you to serial killer status, but it will work.

Get a long wooden post, and point one in. Plant it in the ground, with the pointed en up, and sticking out about 4 feet.

Sit on the pointed end. Guaranteed killer, and the cops wont arrest you.

Damn troll.

JOAT If it can't kill you, it ain't a sport.

Reply to
J T

Sez the fish to the fisherman. "I is ready to be filleted, breaded and fried, but I's not been trolled".

Reply to
Dave Bugg

a gallows

Test it on yourself first.

Reply to
lwasserm

I would ignore this post. This is one scary individual. If you use Goggle groups you can do a "view profile" and see the posting history of this person.

What is depressing is this twisted person may actually commit a crime at some point yet there is nothing anyone can do until the act is committed.

Reply to
Jerry

Just call him a suspected terrorist then he can be sent to Guantanamo, no charges needed.

Reply to
CW

| I want to be a serial killer and I want to use wooden weapons. | | What can I build with wood to kill people and how can I | avoid being arrested by the cops?

Oleander chopsticks. When the police come to arrest you, climb into your DIY wooden trebuchet (cleverly concealed in your basement) and launch yourself through the basement window, over their heads, and away...

-- Morris Dovey DeSoto Solar DeSoto, Iowa USA

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Reply to
Morris Dovey

First you need to understand how a serial killer works.

ps they're are extremly intelligent...so your best bet is taking a day job in a McDonalds.

Reply to
The3rd Earl Of Derby

Yeah, and can you believe there are some a'holes that want to do away with Gitmo??!!! I guess they want more due process and more rights for the dirtbags that have openly declared war on us and society. Ya gotta wonder what they're thinking...

Reply to
shinola9

Yeah, and can you believe there are some a'holes that want to do away with Gitmo??!!! I guess they want more due process and more rights for the dirtbags that have openly declared war on us and society. Ya gotta wonder what they're thinking or whose side they're on...

Reply to
shinola9

Just don't cry when they send you there.

Reply to
Bob Martin

I don't need to worry about that. I am an honest hardworking citizen. I don't fraternize with terrorists or enemies of the state. Gitmo is there for those people, not me. Do you really think of America as "The Evil Empire" just looking for excuses to lock up honest people who disagree with "the regime"? If that were true (and it's not), a lot of very public, very outspoken anti-establishment activists would be disappearing unexplainably. If they are not locking them up, why would the lock me up (along with every other average citizen)? Your alarmist BS has no substance.

Reply to
shinola9

How about due process and rights for persons falsely accused of being dirtbags who have openly declared war on us?

Reply to
fredfighter

If you are an American citizen you will (and should) get the full benefit of American due process. If you are an enemy of the state, especially an illegal combatant; you do not (and should not) receive the same benefits (and are not covered by the Geneva Conventions). I hope Americans are smart enough not to try to hobble the whole system by listening to the do gooders (or are they) who feel that all terrorist and enemies deserve to be treated as if they are just another domestic criminal.

And yes, unfortunately a few good people may get caught up in some kind false identity or be unfairly accused but you can't castrate the whole system to prevent this from happening to a few people. The system is there to try to protect you from our enemies. If you are not an enemy, you can be pretty confident that the government isn't out to lock you up. Why would you think they are?

Reply to
shinola9

| snipped-for-privacy@spamcop.net wrote: || snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com wrote: ||| CW wrote: |||| Just call him a suspected terrorist then he can be sent to |||| Guantanamo, no charges needed. ||| ||| Yeah, and can you believe there are some a'holes that want to do ||| away with Gitmo??!!! I guess they want more due process and more ||| rights for the dirtbags that have openly declared war on us and ||| society. Ya gotta wonder what they're thinking or whose side ||| they're on... || || How about due process and rights for persons falsely accused || of being dirtbags who have openly declared war on us? | | If you are an American citizen you will (and should) get the full | benefit of American due process. If you are an enemy of the state, | especially an illegal combatant; you do not (and should not) receive | the same benefits (and are not covered by the Geneva Conventions). I | hope Americans are smart enough not to try to hobble the whole | system by listening to the do gooders (or are they) who feel that | all terrorist and enemies deserve to be treated as if they are just | another domestic criminal.

I presume you're referring to do-gooders like (cut & pasted):

when they affirmed that:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal"

or are you of the "all men are created equal, except that some are more equal than others" school?

| And yes, unfortunately a few good people may get caught up in some | kind false identity or be unfairly accused but you can't castrate | the whole system to prevent this from happening to a few people. | The system is there to try to protect you from our enemies. If you | are not an enemy, you can be pretty confident that the government | isn't out to lock you up. Why would you think they are?

Then may you and those you love be those few good people.

-- Morris Dovey DeSoto Solar DeSoto, Iowa USA

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Reply to
Morris Dovey

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