Congratulations sir, you are safe!

[The Natural Philosopher]

Wonderful. Phone rings..

"I am from BT Openreach etc etc...we are going to cut off your internet because someone from outside is using it"

"Oh, that's very clever of them"

"Are you sitting near a computer connected to your router?"

"Yes"

"Can you see the key on the bottom left of the keyboard called CTRL?"

"Yes."

"What is the key next to it?"

"It's the 'Windows' key".

"OK, I want to to press 'CTRL' and the 'windows key' together and release them together.

"OK"

"What do you see?"

"Applications"

"Applications sir?"

"Yes. It's my Linux main menu"

"You have a Linux computer?"

"Yes"

"Congratulations sir, you are safe."

/dial tone/.......

ROFLMFAO.

[Bob Eager]

I don't even have a Windows key.

[Huge]

I do, and nothing happens. I haven't mapped it to anything.

[Harry Bloomfield]

Bob Eager pretended :

I have, I have lots of them stored in a drawer to lock the window handles with.

Ctrl + Win does nothing on my laptop????

[FMurtz]

Apparently it is ctrl win +r which gives you the run command they then get you to run something

[Harry Bloomfield]

Not here - in my newsreader it brought up this quoted (r)eply, in Firefox it did a (r)efresh.

[tony sayer]

In article , The Natural Philosopher scribeth thus

One of our girls at work had this happen this morning she was just about to run something then thought her governor would never have anything to do with bee tee so she put then phone down on them and couldn't believe anyone would want to harm her computer!

Lovely girl but sometimes perhaps too trusting..

[Dave Plowman (News)]

Not very clever of you to still be accepting calls from any Tom Dick or Harry in this age.

[Tim Streater]

Neither do I. Or Windows.

[John Rumm]

What they are usually after is WIN + R to open the Run dialogue box.

[John Rumm]

I kept one on the phone for 20 mins trying to work their way round that one... (I told em I had an old IBM keyboard and there was no windows key)

Mysteriously the "Run" option was not on the start menu either ;-)

[spuorgelgoog]

Do you have a Penguin key instead? :-)

Owain

[Harry Bloomfield]

John Rumm presented the following explanation :

[Bob Eager]

Nope. I suppose I should have a Beastie key.

[charles]

I have a cog wheel instead of either of these.

[Brian Gaff]

Thanks for the tip.

Brian

[Brian Gaff]

I was going to say, I don't think it does anything unless you use a third key. I think if they rang me I'd say no, I cannot see the control key. Why not, Because I'm blind. Brian

[Brian Gaff]

No just windows R will open the run box.

Is this a do it yourself virus infection tutorial? Brian

[Graham.]

Tom and Dick can call, but I draw the line at Harry.

SWMBO answered this at 2pm

[F]

Not when I've strung them along for a while. They take you to the events log and point out the errors in there to demonstrate you have a problem. Then they start to relieve you of your credit card details...