This is a sensible group on Usenet, so I thought I'd ask here.
My daughter is paying her way through college by babysitting. She has 4
different families she baby-sits for regularly. She took on an assignment
for a new family through a referral. She normally doesn't take any new
assignments on, because the families she sits for, treat her very well.
The family has 2 children, and the parents are both doctors. They also have
a pet dog. Within 1 hour, my daughter noticed the dog had one of her less
than a week old sneakers in it's mouth, ripped to shreds.
She paid for these with her money, they ran her $75. The parents refuse to
pay for her sneakers, saying she should be responsible for her sneakers.
She left her shoes at the door, because they have a very nice new home.
I say the people should have warned her about the dog being a chewer, and
should take responsibility for their pet.
Needless to say, she learned a lesson the hard way.
What do you say?
Is this a puppy or a fullgrown dog? A pup I would expect to chew.
Sounds like fullgrown if it tears shoes to shreds. If it tore her
shoes, I would expect that it does damage to the owners' belongings,
too. Very odd that they did not warn her. There are several choices,
and you probably have them in mind: Isolate the dog or put her
belongings away when there to avoid future damage. The thought that
bothers me most is whether if the dog damages the owners' belongings
while your daughter is there, will they hold her responsible. I think
it would be a good idea to give notice and depart from their employ.
Since your daughter was considerate enough to leave her shoes at the
door, it is pretty trashy to avoid responsibility for damage their dog does.
Thanks for the response.
It's a full grown dog. My daughter has over 250 hrs of voluntary service at
the local veterinarians as part of her requirements, and is planning on
becoming a vet. She asked her questions about their pet, if she should know
anything about it, aside from letting it out. One of the family's pet has
diabetes, and she has to give it a shot. Another family's pet has seizures,
so she likes to familiarize herself with all aspects of the pets, along
with any children's special needs.
She will not be going back to this family. She pretty much was doing it
because of the strong referral. The family has tried to coax her back, but
refuses to acknowledge any responsibility on their part. They seem to
believe it's a one-way street, and try to make her feel obligated to them
for child care.
I think the sitter's parents should reimburse half the cost
of the sneakers. After all, it's not the sitter's fault.
Would be kind of the parents, but not totally necessary of
course. Help sofen the blow, you could say.
I disagree....I've always allowed my kids to make mistakes and correct
the situation themselves, when appropriate, but this situation hints at
some really bad traits in the employer that I wouldn't want the daughter
to experience. Little "mistakes" are great learning experiences and an
exercise in avoiding big mistakes. First lesson: $75 for a pair of
shoes is a lot of money, esp. for a teen. Second lesson: working for
one's own support does not bring unlimited resources. Third lesson: be
aware of surroundings at all times. Fourth lesson: some people are
crass and selfish, no matter their status in the community. Carry on
with dignity and don't give in to their crass and selfish behavior
(i.e., don't go back for more, just for the money).
That said, it really, really bugs me when parents try to control every
situation for their children - all of a sudden, they are 18 or 21, out
of the house and don't know what to do when mommy and daddy aren't there
to "fix" things. BTDT.
So, your whole post is a regret of your own training of your children and
does not contain any usable advice for the OP?
If Mommy were a parent like you, the girl wouldn't be out working for four
different people babysitting, and she would have "poor darling"'ed her and
took her straight away to buy another pair of shoes, which Mommy would have
paid for. Just like you did with your kids.
No, she didn't do that, but asked advice here first, and is leaving her
daughter to handle the situation, albeit with a little guidance.
Good on her.
Bad on you.
Is that last kid still living in your basement?
You derived the opposite of what I attempted to say. I think the OP and
her daughter did just fine.....the daughter seems very mature and
reasonable. A couple of replies suggested the daughter go back, and
that is where I would draw the line in this situation. The "BTDT" was
my experience of seeing other parents unable to let go, unable to allow
children to make a plan or to proceed in their own choices (with
APPROPRIATE guidance, of course)...just let kids do the thinking, always
be aware and give guidance when needed. As for my own children, all
three are capable, mature, kind, assertive, responsible and
creative....couldn't ask for better. They are also terrific parents.
Forgive me for expanding on the original topic...
A neighbor came to my door long ago, claiming that my son had aimed a
bottle rocket at her boy, it hit him and burned a small hole in the
front of his shirt and burned his belly a tiny bit. Wanted
reimbursement for the shirt. Didn't know her well and the kids played
together quite a bit. I paid her for the shirt and apologized, doubting
that my son had done what she said he did. Kids about 12 and neither of
us witnessed the event. Next day her boy was out shooting off bottle
rockets and had one fly by his face, missing him by about an inch.
Don't recall what the shirt cost - not much - but worth it to keep the
peace. Didn't ever have a strong disagreement with a neighbor until
many years later, and it was their choice, not mine. Have had the best
and the worst of neighbors.
On Sat, 23 Jan 2010 10:04:28 -0500, " email@example.com"
Never had any problem with the series of neighbors to my left, with
whom I share a wall. Until the last one. He wanted the vines off my
house, said that rats and snakes would live in them. He was from the
Carribean where that was probably true, but it's not true here. He
wanted all the stuff out of the fenced in area in front of my kitchen,
which only he could see and only when he was smoking right on the
other side of the fence.
And he was pushy in the way he did it. And wouldn't give me his
Anyhow, he and his wife split up so they had to sell the house. Lost
about 25% of what they paid 2 years ago at the top of the bubble.
Now I have a new neighbor, single, pretty, blonde, in her 20's. So I
can take her out, I've resolved to lose 50 pounds and 30 years. I'm
looking for two effective reduction plans.
I'm also trying a lot harder to be quiet late at night, and I keep
thinking it's for the nonsense reason so she will really like me, but
deep down I'm sure I just don't want to fight with a second neighbor.
(I actually don't think she can hear me. In 26 years, I've barely
heard a peep out of any neighbor, and never the tv in the bedroom.
Surely some of them watched tv in the bedroom.)
Uncaring people like these doctors, there's bound to be some
other trap, if the girl returns to her babysitting job.
Unfortunately, the kids are the ones who suffer. Frequent
changes of sitter, and also they are learning (from the
doctors) selfish and crass ways of dealing with the hired
Even with paying for the shoes and upfront payment for the
sitting, I'd still not want to return.
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