Black & Decker

[Cooper]

Phone call to mum.

- "Hi Mom, it's me."

- "Hi Sally, are you okay?I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware store, looking for a drill."

- "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you."

- "Oh my god, what happened?"

- "Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face."

- "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"

- "Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"

[Stormin Mormon]

On the way, Johnny got hit by a car.

Johnny's friend rushed on to school. Rushes into the class room, and tells his teacher Johnny got hit in the ass by a car, and, and..." "Rectum, Charlie, Rectum!" "Rectum! Damn near killed him!"

. Christ> Phone call to mum.

[Tegger]

Stormin Mormon wrote in news:B8p0u.125055$ [e-mail]:

When a doctor gives you a colonoscopy, he goes in through your Wrecked Him.