OFF TOPIC: Ping Swingman - Cowbell News Item

[Lee Michaels]

As an old cowboy and musician, I know that you love cowbells. LOL I thought of you when reading this news item. A local judge has actually banned cowbells. I thought you would enjoy this one.

[lektric dan]

Not enough cow bell...

[Swingman]

Crowded rat syndrome ... you see it everywhere sheeple expand their range.

[Han]

Swingman wrote in news:ZuudnVQ4KMCgzpTNnZ2dnUVZ [e-mail]:

+1. Expanded NIMBY by the new suburbanites.

Right around here there is a terrible dispute about chickens. Some ingenious lawyer type found what he considers a loophole in the prohibition against poultry farms described in the bylaws of this community. Berman now has had chickens and a rooster in his backyard (the plots here are around 50x100ft) for a few years, despite neighbors' protests. Some neighbors are up in arms because of the rooster noise, someone was picked on by a chicken or the rooster (they sometimes escape), the animals stink (according to some). Others consider the chickens almost bucolic and consider the rooster's cries cute. It's really hilarious, in my personal opinion.

[Swingman]

I agree wholeheartedly with the prohibition on roosters.

The male of this particular species, besides being full of themselves, and supplying little but distraction to the normally contented hens, accounts for arguably less than 1/10 of 1% of any human benefit derived from keeping a small flock of hens in a city environment, as well as providing 99% of the opposition with justification for banning same.

Go ahead, ban the strutting, macho, wannabe peacocks ...

[Lee Michaels]

"Swingman" < wrote

As a farm boy, we allowed few roosters to run around. We let them get big, then we ate them.

I told the story before. I knew some city slickers who came into some money and bought a "gentleman farm". It had a chicken coop and they decided they wanted fresh eggs. They stopped by a roadside stand and bought 12 chicks. They bought feed and fed them for months. But no eggs. They approached me to look at the situation to determine the problem.

They had 11 big, strong roosters. And one very stressed out hen with most of her feathers gone. This poor hen was running around all day with roosters jumping on her for a little recreational sex. I was astounded. When I reported my findings, they were unconvinced. I had to get into a basic birds and bees discussion with them. They said they knew about sex. They just could tell the difference between boy chickens and girl chickens. I had to go out there and explain it to them.

Then they had the problem of 11 roosters. I told them they just had to butcher them for fresh meat. They were horrified. So I got together with another guy and butchered the roosters for them.. He was a cook and made up big pots of chicken spaghetti. It was delicious.

Other fiascos followed. They planted a big garden and did not realize that you had to weed and water it. They ended up selling the "farm" and moved back to the city.

[Swingman]

LOL Ahhh, the art of sexing chicks, something I once learned in FFA and promptly forgot ... on purpose.

[krw]

Some time back an acquaintance was telling us about his first foray into chicken ranching. He and his partner bought fifty chicks to raise. A few weeks later he finds out that he has fifty little roosters. Someone was better at sexing them than he was. ;-)

[Larry Jaques]

Wow!

Pansy yuppies.

People like that are a true waste of oxygen, aren't they?

-- Win first, Fight later.

--martial principle of the Samurai

[Lee Michaels]

It was pretty amazing. I felt like a grade school teacher telling a class the difference between boys and girls. They had a hard time with that concept. They only knew chicken as meat that came on a piece of styrofoam with plastic wrap over it. It never occurred to them that there were girl chickens and boy chickens. And I was considered some kind of back to the earth guru for having this special knowledge. If they pulled that crap on the farm where I grew up, they would have starved and died. Or my dad would have run them off the place with a rifle.

They had skills. Just nothing that could be used on a farm. Nothing practical. The place was gorgeous, wonderful landscaping, trees, a pond and lots of slate floors. But they couldn't fix a light switch. If you are helpless in an environment that requires some maintenance. you either let things deteriorate or you are always paying out big bucks to have somebody fix things.

We had a falling out later. I ended up taking a lot of business away from them because I didn't screw people and was honest.

[Larry Jaques]

That's my kind of client: More money than sense.

Oh, not my type of client at all. I won't work for a cheat if I know in advance.

-- In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. -- Albert Camus