Yes, that old chestnut. Given the vast wealth of experience (and opinions ) here, what time is reasonable for a ten year old boy to go to bed at night?
Yes, the same arguments are being used. The same as the ones we used as children, no doubt. I haven't a clue what time I was sent to bed, but eight o'clock rings a bell.
Current bedtime is half past eight Sunday to Thursday, with a half hour extension Friday and Saturday. I think that is too late, but that is irrelevant. Is half past eight too early for a ten year old boy, with school the next day? I think not.
A 10 year old needs, on average, 9.5 hours sleep, plus or minus an hour, depending upon the individual. On that basis, half past eight would be about right if he has to get up at 5 am (+/-1 hour) to go to school.
Early bedtimes often have more to do with the parents wanting time alone together than what the child actually needs.
when our kids were that sort of age we tried to get them into bed at about 9, but that was really to get them out of our hair so we could have a bit of grown-up time.
They tended to read books for a bit then go to sleep and we just checked the lights were off when we got to bed.
I think kids will stay awake to whatever time they naturally do, and will swear blind they aren't tired until they drop and close their eyes.
Of course vigorous exercise during the day will be beneficial, try getting them to train for a sport--- there'll be no complaints about bedtime then.
You don't say how early the lad has to get up for the school run, if it's 6.00 am then earlier to bed is better, but if it's 8.30 and a short run to school then I would think he could stay up a bit later...
it all depends...
with my teenagers now I'm just glad they get back home in one piece..
Though it might be good in that case to send the child to bed, but they are allowed to stay awake for another hour if they read a book (not watch TV if they have one in their room or play on a computer but specifically read a book). That combines a motivation (they can stay awake later, which kids like) with a benefit (improved literacy and a desire to read) as well as allowing the parents their time.
Since you ask - my pair (5+7) usually end up in bed at 9pm. That's not great
- it's a result of me and SWMBO working 60 miles away and me getting them off the childminder at 6-6:30pm and me them cooking for them, then homework etc etc.
Nevertheless, they seem healthy. But it's pretty borderline and they do sometimes kip for an hour in the afternoon.
But a lot of their peers end up in bed by 8pm (or earlier!).
For a 10 year old, I wasn't in bed before 9pm at that age, sometimes 9:30pm.
Is that upstairs for bath/PJ's/story or lights out?
The routine starts here at 1930 for the The Lad (11) with bath/PJ's, he's allowed back downstairs after his bath, in his PJ's. Then upstairs from 2100 or just after. Lights out between 2200 and 2230 after stories and talking through the day. He's nearly always first up around 0700, quite often before.
Very little variation between school/non-school times, he will sometimes "lie in" until 0800 on non-school days...
Thanks, everyone, for all the comments - I particularly like 'when he is bloody well told to', which is me to a tee :-)
I do agree that, to a certain extent, a child's bedtime is chosen to suit the parents, rather than the child.
You have my sympathy, although I know you're not looking for it. Our son arrived unexpectedly, and I was in exactly that situation - commuting to London, long day, rarely saw the boy for what seemed like minutes a day. We then decided that something had to change, so moved
500 miles north, to rural Aberdeenshire, where we run a PO together, which means we're always at home for him, and have been since he was not much more than a year old.
I think there is a lot of truth in what suits the child. Although bedtime is 20.30, by the time he has found pjs, had a wee, cleaned his teeth etc., it is 20.45, then he reads for a while, so never sleeps before 9. He wakes around 07.30 - 08.00 which is about right, I think. Gives him time to greet the day before getting dressed and leaving home for the 5 minute walk to school. Yes, we're lucky.
By the time we get to bedtime, he is usually on the Xbox, talking to friends, who tease him for having to leave at half past eight. I have suggested he tell a white lie - going to finish homework, have a bath or whatever, if that helps him save face. Part of his homework is 15 minutes reading per evening, so not dishonest.
I really cannot remember. I do know that I was not allowed to stay up to watch Rawhide, but at what age, I can't recall :-)
Yes, exactly. Bedtime is never bedtime. Bedtime is 20.30, but that is the start of the ritual, including the usual bathroom stuff, long stories about the day, general unwinding etc. Because we work at home, we do at least eat together, so talk then, but we tend to learn more when he is in bed, and telling about the day. Important, to him and us.
My 8 year old son seldom goes to bed before 9pm, but then he gets himself up at 7am, makes his own breakfast and gets dressed himself, so I can see no point in sending him to bed any earlier, he obviously doesn't need any more sleep.
I used to go to bed at about 9pm when I was 10 but I always used to listen to Radio Luxemburg for half an hour (or longer if I could get away with it). One night I knew the answer to a competition so I snook (snuck? sneaked?) down to the telephone in the hallway to ring in my answer. I thought that with them having the telly on in the living room they wouldn't hear me but they did and I have no idea how many people around europe were treated to a live argument between me and my dad, "But dad, I'm on the radio, I know the answer" - "Put the phone down and get back to bed" - and then he took the handset from me and hung up! Although I had the right answer I never got chance to give them my address so never got the prize :-)
nominal bed time here is 8.30. but in reality it's a moveable feast, though we try for that a few times a week, for everyone's sanity really.
2 days a week she is out until 8.30 9 or so anyway. And usually a couple of times a week my wife might a be a bit late home from work and unless it gets too late the kids will spend some time with mum.
Of course she would read to midnight if she gets the chance......
She is hopeless at getting up in the morning, and will still be in bed until well after 9 if left to her own devices. Luckily, they don't go to school, so getting up and out isn't an issue most days.
In this context it was 'luckily' we don't have to worry about them being up in time to go to school everyday. so being up late sometimes isn't the issue it might be if they were having to get up to go.
But I think they get a education more suited to them by being home educated. This may or may not be considered lucky I suppose.
HomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here.
All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.