A Craigslist ad for a free mattress:
"Perhaps you like a firm sleeping surface, but are frowned upon for sleeping on the floor. Think you can't find anything harder than hardwood? Try this mattress! Don't waste your money on a "sleep number bed" with the firmness turned all the way up. In time, the air in the mattress will start to leak and the mattress will go soft. This mattress will NEVER go soft!"
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