In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man
using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm!
Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."
Which means: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water.
The cows have sh*t in it."
The man shouted back: "I'm from Massachusetts and just down here
campaigning for Mitt Romney.
I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of
her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny
creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead
car stepped a tall, grinning man. "Hi there little girl, I'm President
Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.
"Kittens," little Suzy said.
"How old are they?" asked Obama.
Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."
"And what kind of kittens are they?"
"Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile.
Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his
PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens. Recognizing
the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should
return the next day, and in front of the assembled media, have the girl
talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket
of "FREE KITTENS," when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed
by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN. Cameras and audio equipment were
quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little
Suzy. "Hello, again," he said, I'd love it if you would tell all my
friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."
"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."
Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "but...but...yesterday, you
told me they were DEMOCRATS."
Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. but today, they have their eyes open."
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure,the creed of ignorance, and the
gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery"
Bbbbut, why would you LIE?
(Not that I'm too awfully proud of my REPs nowadays.) <sigh>
It's time for replacement parties.
The greatest justice in life is that your
vision and looks tend to go simultaneously.
-- Kevin Bacon
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