Guess what the van did this morning?

caught fire?

Nothing?

That was last year.

Lost its handbrake and ran the rear end into a bollard?

Sorry, confusing your van with TMH's for a moment.

Owain

He has a new van. I went out on the piss with him 2 weeks ago.

Spontaneously fell apart?

If it's like my mate's new camper van, got stolen? Seems they are one of the easiest vehicles to steal.

Ran away with a neighbour's son?

won the Italian Grand Prix ?

Went on strike in sympathy with the SWT guards ?

Thought it was a Virgin Train and vanished overnight ?.

Filled itself up with petrol?

Filled a pikeys car up with (free) diesel ?

Now it did break down half a mile after filling up and that was my first thought:-)

But the receipt says diesel, the fuel card is only accepted for diesel (and the M6 Toll) and the 5 litre can I also filled up to put into my car smells like diesel.

It will fire up and tick over but as soon as you try to put any revs on it plays up. Drove it home in first without touching the accelerator pedal for the 1st 300m and then freewheeled it the last quarter a mile.

Best guess EGV again. Last replaced 75000 miles ago.

No, but the drivers door check strap fell apart yesterday.

You're really, really going to 'enjoy' a Marxist Labour government forcing you to use an electric van then !.

I Guildford yesterday, there was group of people awkstruck by the window display -

The Great Thunderbox has a BOOK.

She's f****ng unemployable, so 'buy my book and make me (and my parents) (very) rich'.

I smell a rat, this is what it has all been about, all along.

That van never does nothing.

It's best claim to fame was the time the hard hat fell out of the bulkhead space and hit the gf on the head (that cost me a clothes shopping trips)

Or maybe the time I got it stuck in a school playing field trying to pull out the cherry picker I had got stuck in the school playing field (that cost the firm a few quid for the gardener to put right)

Not even had the decency to make it Kindle only? Does she know how paper is made?

Electric vans. A firm like ours could viably use a couple due to the mileage they do (as long as someone else paid for them). Not much use for the 650 miles I drove last week.

That's quite a lot for a Fiat to do without breaking down. Or have you added a 0?

There are electric cars that are good for 300 miles between charges. Allegedly. If your 650 miles was 130 per day, that's doable just charging at night.