chain of consequences

have you not got any wire rope clamps knocking about that you could use?

For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

See "The Gasman Cometh" by Flanders and Swann.

I dug 'em out. Some were too big. Some were too small. They had to be right.

I noticed that some were the ones I remember from childhood. Father must have bought them in the 1950s. He was an aerial installer.

Bill

I thought you would have a good selection for guy wires.

Count yourself lucky that you didn't swallow a fly!

Aye, maybe that was in my mind.

This sort of thing is all right when you don't have a deadline. And have you noticed how, when there's a deadline, you can't find those special little side cutters, and the wife wants you to get something from a high shelf in the bedroom, and brand new bolts have damaged threads, and the bloody phone keeps ringing, and the postman wants to tell you about his sister's skin, and you use that not very accurate trysquare by mistake and it buggers things up totally, why the hell I haven't chucked it I don't know, and then one of the fluorescent tubes above the big bench starts to flash on and off and you can't find the stepladder, and the blade snaps on the bandsaw, then a grandchild arrives and wants to drill lots of holes in a bit of wood but he's five so has to be supervised and I can't really say bugger off can I? Or can I?

Bill

Well you know, I've done all I can to reduce my stock, since I've been a benefit scrounger now for two years. The ones for guy wires were too small.

Incidentally I've never really liked wire rope clamps. I'd rather do a splice.

Here's some luverly guy wires

Bill

OK. But what about the porridge?

Would it not have been better too send the part that would not fit back and ask them for the right one? Brian

But Bill would then have spent all afternoon looking through his boxes of u sed jiffy bags for one the right size, then he'd have to get a sticky label to put over the old address, weigh it, find the scales are bust, borrow th e neighbour's scales, find the weights are missing, remember that some obsc ure type of coax last used in 1943 weighs one ounce per three and a half fo ot, convert that into grammes per end of reel, find some unused stamps, get some clear tape because the sticky doesn't any more, and then he can't get to the P.O. before it closes because the grandchild wants to come too on h is tricycle and it's got a flat tyre and the tyre inflater won't work becau se the old generator is in bits and the new one hasn't been fitted yet.

Apart from that you're absolutely right Brian, Bill should send the part ba ck.

Owain

used jiffy bags for one the right size, then he'd have to get a sticky lab el to put over the old address, weigh it, find the scales are bust, borrow the neighbour's scales, find the weights are missing, remember that some ob scure type of coax last used in 1943 weighs one ounce per three and a half foot, convert that into grammes per end of reel, find some unused stamps, g et some clear tape because the sticky doesn't any more, and then he can't g et to the P.O. before it closes because the grandchild wants to come too on his tricycle and it's got a flat tyre and the tyre inflater won't work bec ause the old generator is in bits and the new one hasn't been fitted yet.

You definitely should write adverts.

NT