I have had cans blow down the road on occasion, that I needed to recover. Nothing like this example!
- This message is to the person who stole my new trashcan this Tuesday. Although I will probably never see my trashcan again, I want to let you know how I feel.
You are a vile, loathsome excuse for a human being.
I would bet money that one of the following applies to you:
- You are a democrat and voted for Obama.
- You are on Medicaid, Welfare, or some other government assistance because you're to apathetic to work for things you want in life.
- If you are not funded, then you are related to someone who is.
- You are a narcissistic, prideful sociopath with an unjustified sense of entitlement, clearly illustrated by your status in society.
- You have problems with relationships, trust, and holding jobs.
- You have bad oral hygiene and rarely if ever floss your teeth.
- You could find enough money in the dimples of your ass to buy the same trash can from WalMart.
Am I getting close?
I hope that this message transcends this website and melds itself into the plastic fibers of my lovely trashcan. I hope that your Tuesdays and Fridays are literally "trash days". I sincerely hope that when you are diagnosed with cancer, the culprit is carcinogenic fumes from the plastic trashcan you stole.
I will be scouting the neighborhood so have your receipts ready people.