How to know a picnic is a success?

[Stormin Mormon]

Tonight I'm going to a church picnic. I'm thinking in my mind, how will I know if the picnic is a success for me? I think I'll be looking for:

• Get to chat with other folks from church.

• Someone offers me food.

• Interesting conversation

• No one gets hurt (one time one of the guys cut his finger on a knife his wife had packed in the picnic kit, and not mentioned to him.)

• Travel there and back, safely.

What else should I look for?

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

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[Malcom "Mal" Reynolds]

mold on the food dirty hands serving/cooking food not enough toilets not enough toilet paper liquor

[Frank]

Hot chicks.

[Duesenberg]

Hot chicks in yoga pants ready to put out after too much white wine and not enuf potatoe salad.

Oh wait, wrong picnic...

[Stormin Mormon]

I'd have to go to a biker bar, instead of a church picnic.

Especially a male only priesthood picnic.

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

.

Hot chicks.

[Norminn]

ALWAYS good food! No ants, mosquitoes or barking dogs :o)

[Steve Barker]

someone visiting from the local Assembly of God. Maybe you can get saved and go there from now on.

[krw]

Didn't to him, either.

[Stormin Mormon]

Please define "saved". I've heard five or six different definitions.

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

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someone visiting from the local Assembly of God. Maybe you can get saved and go there from now on.

[Steve Barker]

if you don't know, then most likely you're not.

[Stormin Mormon]

If you can't describe what you believe, in simple terms. You're probably not believing the gospel of Christ.

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

.

if you don't know, then most likely you're not.

[Dean Hoffman]

Think big. Fifty bikers show up in full biker regalia with their women. Forty couples swap their gear for something like this:

[gregz]

I had a bunch of bikers pass me today. Double file. At least 20 . I slowed down. Pagens.

Greg

[Stormin Mormon]

Neat T shirt. I'm not a biker, but I do like the shirt.

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

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[Stormin Mormon]

Actually, it's a Democrat thing. Examine every possible aspect of a Republican candidate's past. Find some obscure event from his or her youth, and then report it with great fanfare. Twist the details, and make it sound like a horrific crime against humanity, suitable for war crimes trial. Meantime, ignore the open admissions that Democrats make about their own pasts.

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

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Is that a Mormon thing, or Republican? Or both?

[krw]

...and if you can't find something, make it up.

But what they do is "normal". You expect it from them so it's no big deal.

[cjt]

You WISH!