An Actual Craig's List Ad

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 05-27-2010, 1:43 a.m. EST.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto .. An armed society makes for a more civil society!
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Why is it deemed a good thing when the mugger becumes the muggee?
The guy demanded money and articles of clothing and was instead forced to give money and an article of clothing.
Same as in "The Fifth Element", which is one of my favorite movies. The mugger became the mugee, he demanded cash and Corbin took his gun.
In the case of the craigslist post after defending myself with my gun I would have just taken the scum's ID card to the nearest police station rather than proceeding to commit a string of my own crimes and then brag about it online. Might have even used the voice or video record function on my phone to make him confess right on the spot, it would probably be inadmissable in court but the cops might find it interesting.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On 4/19/2011 11:29 AM, Daniel who wants to know wrote:

Check snopes. He found the guy who wrote and posted the original ad. The guy explained that he had been mugged, but wrote the ad months later as a revenge fantasy. Then it began circulating via email and people began adding details to it, which annoyed the original author. But the point is, according to the guy who wrote the original, it is complete fiction.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

I find it good that isn't true, never thought to snopes it. The fact that it is forwarded so often and apparently augmented is sad.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

I doubt the Mugger learned his lesson ; its probably the only time he got a gun pointed at him from someone hes trying to steal from, so...hes likely to play the odds and keep on doing it. I think you should have held him at Gun point making a Citizens Arrest, until the Police came ; him spending some time in jail has a much more refining influence on a Punk than having to walk barefooted home . In any case, hes lucky he isnt pushing up Daisys and having you pee on his cheap grave.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.