Two Fellers Trying To Decide How To Finish A Pineywood Drysink.

[Tom Watson]

(Two fellers stand and look at a pineywood drysink that feller "A" has just finished building.)

(There has been a long silence prior to our peering into this colloquy.)

"Ayup."

(Two beats.)

"Yessir, ayup."

(A long pause for deliberation.)

"D'ya think she'll like it?"

"Who?"

(One beat.)

Mah wife, n*****ts. Didcha think I was tawkin' 'bout my girlfriend?"

(Two and a half beats.)

"Ah din't know ya had a girlfriend."

(Half a beat.)

"Ah don't have no girlfriend, n*****ts, ahm tawkin' 'bout mah wife."

(Half a beat.)

"Ya shouldn't tawk 'bout ya wife that way."

(Three full beats.)

"Sigh. . ."

"She won't like it nekkid like this."

"It ain't nekkid, it's just not finished."

"Ya wife don't like nothin' that's nekkid, near as I can tell."

(Three full beats.)

"Yeah."

"How 'bout an oak finish?"

(Two beats.)

"Yeah, oak is always good."

(Two beats.)

"'Course, there's lotsa oak finishes."

(Three beats.)

"Ayup."

(Two beats.)

"Ayup."

(Long pause.)

"I'm partial to that MinWax Golden Oak, mahself."

(Two beats.)

"How will it match?"

(Four beats.)

"How will it match what?"

(One and one-half beats.)

"How will it match what's already in ya house?"

(Long pause.)

"Dunno."

"Well, what's in ya house, now?"

(Two long beats.)

"Formica."

(Two beats.)

"What color?"

(Three beats.)

"Dark brown."

(Long pause.)

"Yah won't be able ta use the Golden Oak, it'll clash."

(Long pause.)

"Yeah."

(Long pause.)

"Might be able to go the Dark Walnut."

(Two beats.)

"Nah, it'll blotch."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, it'll blotch - it's pineywood, afterall."

(Long - long pause.)

"Yeah, it is pineywood."

(The two go and open another beer for each.)

"Ahm thinkin' 'bout paintin' it."

(Belch - then another.)

"Ayup."

"It is pineywood."

"Ayup, that it is."

(Long pause.)

"Got some Krylon White?"

"Ayup."

(Two beats.)

"That'll be about perfect, ah reckon."

(Careful pause.)

"Ayup, that'll be just about perfect."

Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania

[Charlie Self]

Tom Watson does it again:

rest of funny dialogue snipped.

I think I've heard or participated in this conversation a few times, back in my drinking days.

Charlie Self

"Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them." H. L. Mencken

[Norman D. Crow]

"Ayup!"

Glad I swallowed that drink before I got to the end! Nahmie

[fsteddie]

[BRuce]

HEY! What the hell you doin listen in on my shop conversions!

This actually could have been any of my neighbors, the one w1th 11 cars on blocks, the one with 3 fishin boats that ain't moved in 2 years, the one with 9 animal sheds constructed with random lumber and billboards...

It sure is interesting in rural NC,

BRuce

Tom Wats> (Two fellers stand and look at a pineywood drysink that feller "A" has

[Charlie Self]

Rural anywhere, really. I'd include other countries if I knew more about their rural life--All Things Bright & Beautiful doesn't seem an ideal primer.

Really, a lot of that has to do with not wasting things that are only half-used up.

Charlie Self

"Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them." H. L. Mencken