Re: OT - Spanking...Should You or Shouldn't You?

[Deborah Kelly]

lol I just want to know then who has perfect relations in any family? lol

Deborah

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

It can be somewhat more serious, Iggy. My ex BOL and his wife left the kids one night, when the oldest was capable of keeping watch properly. They left a pan on the kitchen stove, resulting in a kitchen fire. Everything turned out fine, but it could have turned out far differently. I'm not convinced you need worry about the actions of most children, but when something goes wrong, they often are not properly equipped, either physically or mentally, to react in the proper way at younger ages. I think I'd be more concerned about that than anything. Imagine the guilt one would carry if a child was lost to having been left alone when too young to make intelligent decisions and be able to act on them.

Harold

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

Congrats on the success!

and my dad's cars were Cadillacs when Cadillac was

Love that comment. What happened to Cadillac? I remember all too well when they were respected.

Harold

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

Yep! It is. And the parents should be consistent, and have a back bone.

5th time because they haven't taught the kid any manners, and the kid hasn't ever had to pay a price. Interestingly, the day comes when he/she will. Society, in general, has little tolerance for such people. Imagine the rude awakening when a kid pulls the usual BS as a young adult and loses a good job because the boss doesn't have to put up with it.

I agree. Just yesterday, in K-Mart, where there's a Little Caesars Pizza restaurant, I watched as a kid climbed over a railing time and again, while two of his younger siblings were running around screaming, crawling under the tables. The mother had five young ones with her, and all she did was apologize for their behavior, never once attempting to discipline them. At what point in life will these kids begin to understand that there are boundaries?

Harold

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

There appears to be no shortage of these folks, either. Is that what we've become?

Harold

[tg]

no

[Antipodean Bucket Farmer]

Terminology is quite slippery on this subject.

Apparantly, the study cited in the first post of this thread, relied upon asking parents to describe what they had done to their children.

Also, people generally discussing this subject have rose-coloured glasses on regarding either their own actions, or the actions of others.

When I was growing up, my family used the term, "spanking" to describe behaviour like beating a child unconscious, for fun.

OTOH, I have encountered people who interpret legitimate reference to "abuse" as merely indicating a little hand-swat on the bum, when the child had misbehaved. ("You're so immature for failing to feel gratitude...")

As long as "spanking" isn't really violence (in your mind), then it is reasonable for an employer who is feeling stressed-out, to pull the nearest employee's pants down, apply a belt until the little brat is barely even capable of crawling away. After all, that is a "spanking," in my experience, and thus isn't really "violence," in your mind. So nothing bad happening at all. A perfectly legitimate way for an authoriTAH figure to remind everyone who's boss.

Wanna volunteer for some "not"-violence?

[John Husvar]

I don't know what happened, but there's just something very, very wrong about Cadillac and Lincoln pickup trucks and SUVs. :)

Every time I encounter one on the road, it somehow jars my sensibilities.

[John Husvar]

I was ten and she was less than a year when this all started. I'm not sure of the "official right age" for babysitters. I was responsible enough, apparently, for several years. :)

Of course, when I was at school, my mother had to take Sis to the office with her, but I managed to take good care of her when both my parents had to be working.

[Dave Lyon]

And that is what I think is the real answer to this debate! Kids don't need more friends, that's not a parents job, they need parents that will stand up and do the right thing even if it means the kids will be upset with them. And, they need to do it every time!

Depending on the child, many different methods of parenting may work, but you cannot substitute for being consistent.

[Stuart Grey]

When the store owner shoots one for taking money from the cash register, somewhere around the teen years, I suspect.

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

You're not going to complain about a Rolls Royce quadratrack, too, are you?

I think back to the days when Cadillac made V-12 & V-16 engines and turned out cars that stood out from the pack, both in quality and design, and wonder where they went wrong.

Harold

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

Exactly!

I watched with dismay as my brother didn't discipline his kids, even when they deserved a serious spanking. Example: Ladies washing dishes at a large gathering, his kids (two boys) outside with the garden hose, spraying them through the open window. "Don't, son. Don't, son. Don't, son. When three "Don't, son"s didn't work, he dropped the subject.

Sorry, that calls for some serious intervention, and consistency.

Harold

[Antipodean Bucket Farmer]

On the other hand, there might *never* be that "rude awakening." There are plenty of adults (including middle-aged and over) going around with a certain constant bewildered expression on their face. Totally and chronically confused as to just "WHY" all us mean nasty people refuse to give the Entitlement Freak whatever s/he wants. And just "WHY" we refuse to tolerate his/her obnoxious behaviour.

The Entitlement Freaks are each On A Mission to prove that they are indeed, the centre of the universe, and that everybody else "owes" them.

No clue at eighteen, no clue at thirty, no clue at forty... No clue *ever*.

[Dave Lyon]

How many mother-in-laws does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, she holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her. :)

[Bob]

That sounds so much like our guy MARY... aka Jethro.

[Harold and Susan Vordos]

Pretty hard to improve on that!

Harold