You mean I gotta go dredge that out of Google *AGAIN*? Thought I had it
saved, but apparently it disappeared. Oh well, here 'tis. Still worth a
giggle and a read for newbies who haven't heard it before.
A question was posed:
Sit back boys and girls, and let me tell you the story of the Jummywood
Long ago, in a small town in Oz lived a man who we'll call Phully. Now
Phully was a talented and gifted wood basher who could pop out an
entertainment center, two end tables, a bookcase, and two wine racks before
lunch. After noon, when he finished his 9th Fosters, he went back into the
shop and there before him stood a poor Aussie waif.
"Pardon me sir, but I'm hungry. Could I have the crumbs from your mullet
sandwich - please sir?" Phully was all choked up ~ not because the kid was
hungry but because he had just killed off his last grog and was going to
miss his 2:00 "coffee break" if he didn't go to market and pick up another 6
cases. "I tells you what you farkin little elf - you stay here and tend to
the shop while I go get some more grog - er I mean groceries and I'll be
Along the way Phully spied some old mates at the pub down the street and
wandered back to the shop after dark. The poor emaciated waif had taken all
the pine boards off the back of the shop and built some of the finest
furniture Phully had ever seen. It had a touch of old country flavor to it
and in his awe and amazement, he awakened the lad and bought him his own
loaf of bread.
"This is the finest 'kin work in the land. Reminds me of the talents of my
top bloke in the states, it does - Jummy Mc Namara in Texas," he exclaimed.
From here on out, you will be my indentured servant. Now *no one* is to
know that you build this fine furniture for me - I'll always put me leather
patch on it I will." But if anyone asks - you never touch the jarrah - only
"Peen?" the young lad replied.
"No - I said pine" in his usual Aussie drawl.
"Pain?" the youth queried again.
"For the love of God son, call it Jummywood!"
So for those of you non-believers who don't believe there is such a thing as
a Jummywood tree, let me assure you there is. Just as there is a Santa
Claus, Easter Bunny, and E.T. It ain't as expensive as walnut or ipe, but I
mean after all - wood don't grow on trees!
So there you have it - the birth of Jummywood.
Now close your eyes, think good thoughts, and go to sleep.
Good night boys and girls.
Didn't he JUST post that message about how jummywood is
_supposed_ to be used? It was a stairs project for a SIL
titled Jummywood Under Foot, I believe.
Never attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps
http://www.diversify.com Comprehensive Website Design
You can compost them yourself, though friends who "borrow" them for
chicken/rabbit bedding and then return when the critters are done are great.
Means you have to make sure it's just shavings and dust, not floor trash.
I usually add a cupful or two to meatloaf for texture. It gives it a sort of
outdoorsy taste, especially ponderosa pine sawdust. You can also add it to
barbecue sauce. I tried making bread once using a 50/50 mix of whole wheat
flour and sawdust, but it didn't rise, and when it came out of the oven it
was kinda super-dense, so I gave it 3 coats of acrylic lacquer and entered
it in a sculpture contest where it won first place. If you're ever in
London, stop by the Tate Modern gallery. It's on the 4th floor, titled "The
Savor Unrisen from the Grist of the Long Leaf." With the prize money I
bought one of them newfangled sawdust compost digesters, which reduces a
whole croker sack of sawdust down to 6 ounces of rich black compost. You can
add the compost to regular ground bean coffee and it tastes a lot like
Louisiana chicory coffee, which you can't get in this neck of the woods. I
haven't figured out what to do with the used compost/coffee grounds yet,
although I understand from the newspaper that the Tate Gallery is having
If you're not a serious art lover you may enjoy our Museum of Depressionist
Art, just down the street from the Tate Modern in Over-the-Bankside at
ps/ What's your connection to the late, great SPRYNET?
Thanks for the great link.
Sprynet? It's been my domain since 1996 -- and I'm sticking with it.
(Well, actually, may have to give it up after all these years; the spammers
are like black flies. All because on some foolish occassions, back in the
old days of the 90s, I dared to use a real e-mail address in some
Sprynet, a division of Compuserve, bought by Mindspring, then bought by
Earthlink. I started with Sprynet because they had POPs around the world
for free and I was traveling a lot back then.
MIx the sawdust with grass clippings--about a 50/50 mix. If you have
enough to make a cubic yard, it will heat up, steam, and "cook." You
can add kitchen scraps, leaves, etc. In a month or two, it will be
ready to use. It helps to turn the pile with a pitch fork every two
weeks and this will keep it from smelling bad. It works like magic,
and almost amazing. I think it is one of nature's wonders. Try it!
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