OK, I know this has to be flawed in some way, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.
I've got a JBOS-5, folks with Delta's BOSS should be able to do it too. Take an old router base with PC size bushing capability, cut it to fit the hole in the table, then use a suitably-sized spindle, clamp the piece to the pattern below as if routing, and pattern sand against the bushing to avoid tearout on stuff like oak and in places where the piece would have to be cut up the easily splitable short grain. Sort of like the Robosander, but oscillating, so no burn.
What do you think? I think I'm going to try it on that next cradle.