OT: Sooo true

Robatoy · 2010-01-18T21:04:24+00:00

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were lookingfor people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-typemanagers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America :[ these are just as applicable in government -- maybe more so...]"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the buildingusing individual security cards. Pictures will be taken nextWednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. inRedmond WA )"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we mightencounter."(Lykes Lines Shipping)"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should beused only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric BoatCompany)"This project is so important we can't let things that are moreimportant interfere with it."(Advertising/Marketing manager, UnitedParcel Service)"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule ."(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've beenworking on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll letyou know when it's time to tell them."(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday.When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would haveto miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we couldchange her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is notgoingto discuss it with the employees."(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Jan 18, 2010 37 Replies

Rate this thread:

Saved reading

Lew Hodgett 16 years ago

"Nahmie" wrote: Have never read "Little Dorrit", but remember a Ford mechanic in early '50's(when they had such "better" ideas as the master cylinder under the floorboard, requiring special tools to get to it) saying that ALL design engineers should be required to work as mechanics for at least

1 year before being allowed near a drafting table.

-------------------------------------

I was a product of that thought, went to a co-op (work and study periods) school which provided a chance to be exposed to several industries while still in school.

Lew

Vote

Robatoy 16 years ago

Hear, hear!

Vote

HeyBub 16 years ago

When Peter Townsend took over as president of Avis, he required that EVERYONE in the company (accountants, mechanics, advertising designers, whatever) spend one day a year at the counter renting cars.

Vote

Larry Jaques 16 years ago

On Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:45:35 -0600, the infamous Swingman scrawled the following:

Do you expect mere politicians to understand irony, satire, and/or sensibility? Shirley ewe jest!

(Got 1/4 of the way through it when duty called.)

Vote

Larry Jaques 16 years ago

On Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:17:51 -0800 (PST), the infamous Nahmie scrawled the following:

Having been a wrench 15 years, all I can say is "Amen to that", Nahmie.

Vote

Swingman 16 years ago

First couple of pages says it all ... but what a wordsmith, eh?

Vote

RonB 16 years ago

up doing after hours team an counseling but well worth it!

OOPs - Absolutely right. My mistake.

Still enjoyed the aftermath.

Vote

Larry Jaques 16 years ago

On Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:18:40 -0600, the infamous Swingman scrawled the following:

Indeed, but tough to read. You have to stop and sort out all of his implications, reading it on several different levels at once.

Do you think pols are bright enough for that?

Vote

LDosser 16 years ago

Pasadena, but there was a very close relationship with PARC - IIRC, Steve Jobs called PARC a National Treasure. In Pasadena we called them the 90% solution.

Vote