Found this elsewhere, which made me laugh.
I'm sure someone will pop up and say it's years old ;-)
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Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food for the puppies, Benji and Smokey, at ASDA and was queuing at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 5 stone before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Purina biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's bum and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
ASDA won't let me shop there anymore!!!