A man wakes up from a coma in the hospital, totally encased in casts and bandages and stuck with tubes and medical whatnot. A few minutes later the nurse sees that he's awake, and calls the doctor.
The doctor tells him "Mr. Smith, you were in a horrible car wreck, you were injured very badly. But you're going to be OK." The next day, the doctor returns with the bad news. "Mr. Smith, there is some bad news. You'll be OK, but we couldn't restore your penis, it was too badly mangled".
"BUT", the doctor continued, "at this hospital we've developed a bionic penis. It's really quite good, we've implante dozens, and all have performed well. Every recipient and their wives say it's better than the real one. Your insurence company has already cut the check for $20K. All you have to do is decide how big you want to go."
Mr. Smith says "I'll have to discuss this with my SWMBO. She's picky about these things".
The next day the doctor returns and finds Mrs. Smith with her hubby. "Have you decided? What's it going to be?"
Mr. Smith says, despondently.... "Yeah, we've decided....."
The doctor says, "well, what's it going to be"?
Mrs. Smith replies "GRANITE COUNTERTOPS".
"Zz Yzx" rhymes with "physics"; or " Isaacs" if you prefer.