When I was younger, walking through a plaza parking lot, I saw a beatiful blonde chic sitting in a car, obviously waiting for somebody with the window open. I couldn't resist this one so I struck up a conversation and easily got a date, for that night with her.
I picked her up at seven o'clock, as arranged, and much to my surprise, when I got to the door, she was in a wheelchair, permanantly disabled, from an accident. I didn't want to show any alarm so I figured I would just take her for a quick burger and dump her home.
After the burger, on the way she home she instructed me to go down an old dirt road, and stop by a large old tree by the side of the road...asked my if I wanted some sex!!! Well !
She explained that if I lifted her up she could hold the lower branch and have a good time with her, which..of course most males would titilate at.
I took her home and her father cornered me with a right out, blunt question "Did you get a piece of ass?"
"GEEESH!!!!". I told him that was private but asked him why the invading question.
"Well the last guy left her hanging in a tree!"
A guy lost an eye in an accident. He became a recluse out of self-consciousness. A friend persuaded him to get an artificial eye, and with reluctance to agreed to go to a dance. Upon arrival he stood in the shadow by a wall. After a while he saw a lady sitting alone. Looking closer, he saw the reason she wasn't dancing - she had an artificial leg. He thought to himself, "Well, maybe she'd dance with me." Screwing up his courage, he walked over and asked if she would like to dance. She looked up at him with a big smile, and said, "Would I! Would I!" So he pointed back at her and said, "Peg leg! Peg leg!"