# OT: Contractors joke

Three contractors die at the same time and miraculously make it to heaven. One from Florida, one from Texas, and one from New Jersey. Saint Peter meets them at the gate and realizes they are all contractors. He asks them if they would be willing to look at some fence work in heaven on the back fence. Saint Peter tells them he has to get three bids on everything and since they are all here together....
They look each other up and down and then take a ride to the fence in the golf cart with Saint Pete.
The Florida GC hops out, measures the fence, does some math in his notebook and says he can do the job for \$1400, \$600 for labor, \$600 for materials and \$200 profit.
The Texas boy jumps out, does some measuring and figuring, then says he can do it for \$1200. Says labor is cheaper in Texas, so \$400 for labor, \$600 for materials and \$200 for profit.
The New Jersey fellow looks at Saint Peter and, without measuring a thing, says; "I'll do it for \$4200."
Saint Peter says: "How can you just come up with a number that outrageous without even so much as measuring the fence?"
"Easy!" he says, "A thousand for me, a thousand for you, a thousand for the inspectors and I get the boy from Texas to do it."
--
Robert Allison
New Braunfels, TX
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
wrote:

Ok, what's the punch line?
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

Every one knows that if you want something done right, get a Texan to do it. ;~)
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
"Leon" wrote in message

Not win a World Series.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
On 03/31/2011 02:07 PM, DGDevin wrote:

Yabbut, they haven't been at as long as the Cubies.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
wrote:

There's got to be something about Obama and Bush in there somewhere.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
But, like horse shoes and hand grenades: Oh so close :>) Sparky 01

<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Robert Allison wrote,on my timestamp of 31/03/2011 3:03 PM:

LOL! Almost universal. Change the state names and it could well be Australia.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
wrote:

Speaking of Oz, I was looking at eBay prices on magazine subscriptions and came to the higher price ranges when I nearly shat me pants. Starting at \$135.07, you can get a year's script of Good Woodworking mag. Just add shipping fees. Or get 3 years of PC Plus for only \$753.85 <thud> Who the \$%^& is this Treeet company, anyway? http://goo.gl/vC6E3 Crikey!
With prices like those, I can see the Oz contrator's need to cheat.
-- You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on Earth, or we will sentence them to take the last step into a thousand years of darkness.? -- Ronald Reagan
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
wrote:

You see, according to a promotional flyer I read when en route to Oz, published by Canadian Enterprise Development Corporation, "All imports to Australia come from overseas."
I thought that was chuckleworthy.
I had the time of my life in Australia, just loved the people, was blown away by scenery, and I didn't see very much of it. Ang & I will be going back, probably for the F1 Grand Prix in Melbourne next year.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
On Thu, 31 Mar 2011 07:00:28 -0700 (PDT), Robatoy

Indeed.
Ooh! Be sure to take lots of pictures. (OK, take some of the cars, not just the pit girls, eh?)
-- You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on Earth, or we will sentence them to take the last step into a thousand years of darkness.? -- Ronald Reagan
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

Which one of you does the driving?
R
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Robatoy wrote:

Australia is an island, completely surrounded by water.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

Much like your brain. The difference is that Australia has signs of intelligent life. :)~
R
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

That explains it then....
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
On 3/31/2011 3:43 PM, Robatoy wrote:

It doesn't explain why most people think it is a continent.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

It is the worlds smallest continent at 2.9 million square miles also the worlds largest island at the same rate Greenland, which is claimed to be the largest island, is only 822,000 square miles
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

"oh where oh where have the saddlers, ironworkers and adzemen gone... why they have gone to be by the sea to sip chilled tea and gum down on sweet brown cookies, dear me"     [apols to ol' mate Banjo (Paterson)]
A tad disappointing there, George, to not read you chippin' Larry for his "Oz" reference... bugger. "Watch the pennies".. and all that yer know, like n' that :-/
jftr There aint no "yellow brick road", "Down Under". Nor no heartless - brainless - gutless "dudes", as icons of the population (Ok.. we got Tony Abbot)... and our "fair dinkum shielas" do not even _wear_ shoes! "Down Under" is not "Oz" guys.. nor Afghanistan!
jes sayin' like ... george
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

it."
Woodworking
Oz,
imports
If Bernie Ecclestone gets his way, they may not have a race in 2012.
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

Bernie no longer has any say whatsoever. http://paddocktalk.com/news/html/story-157024.html RIP
-- The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it. -- Al Batt
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>

## Site Timeline

• Share To

HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.