Top this gloat.
I've had very few gloats over my woodworking days, a couple of neeners, but this one is a beaut.
I was driving my daughter home from daycare when I come upon a residential demolition/estate sale. I thought I saw some tailed tools hanging out in the garage, so what the heck, I figure maybe the guy was a wrecker and maybe he's even got a couple of nice neander-bubba planes hanging around in there. Well, I was mistaken about the tools, they were all long gone, like 2 months ago long gone. So I'm about to walk away when the guy mentions that there's a bunch of scrap maple in the basement. Naturally, this gets my interest. Unfortunately, when I get down to the basement, I find out it's not maple. Fortunately, it is walnut. To clarify, 250 board feet of walnut. So, staying as calm as possible, I ask him what he wants to haul all this 'maple ' away. After all, this is a demolition sale, and everything must go, right? We dicker back and forth, he claims he's promised his 'brother in law' first pick and he won't come up with a number, so I take a very short drive. I go back 15 minutes later, tell him that I really can't come back after his brother in law looks over it, so if bro-law doesn't take it, he's going to have to haul it up out of the basement himself. He considers this and tells me, $60, but you have to haul all the offcuts away too (figured walnut offcuts? Okaaaayyy...), along with some scrap oak. The scrap oak is
50 board feet of white maple.