Toilet seat - sorted!

IMO, washing your arse with water is much more hygienic than scraping the s*it off with a bit of paper

I think pigs all over have traditionally been fed on "night soil". Obviously not on industrial scale pig units, but still the case in rural farms in Eastern Europe where a toilet is just a seat of wooden planking with a hole for yer bum that opens into the pig pen.

Derek

We have moist toilet wipes enriched with aloe vera down here in Kent...

In message , Derek writes

and on crops etc too

No more Marmite for me !

I've heard it said that their penchant for eating "Night Soil" is the reason that pigs are regarded as unclean in the Jewish and Moslem religons.

Derek

Surely, most of the upstanding* users of this NG have come across cases of 'won't stay up' toilet seats before. We don'tneed a picture.

• :-) ykwim

Is that what you call it ?

You stick your head down between your legs and shout ...

Derek

In article , Derek scribeth thus

I stuck my head down where suggested and shouted "Derek" but you didn't appear;!...

In message , tony sayer writes

Ah - you should have shouted "aloe Derek"

Just don't feel you have to wait around for a reply

Though lines from a laser level would have been helpful as would GPS co-ordinates (variations in gravity due to nearby mountains you see).

Derek

Y'know, some of those CERN mini black holes could be ideal to keep toilet seats up..or - hey! how 'bout simply popping one in the U-bend and using it as a transdimensional waste disposal unit?...

And starving millions of Chinese pigs?

Thats No Way to talk about the inheritors of the 'Greatest Nation on Earth' mantle..Oops. That happens after Xmas. I must stop predicting the future or people will get suspicious.

Do you also have lots of blocked drains?

That'll be a sacrifice made when the cwedit cwunch bites .. no more aloe moistened wipes, back to the bronco and make sure you use both sides.

Owain

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember Owain saying something like:

Izal, or wire brush.

Thus spake Grimly Curmudgeon ( snipped-for-privacy@removegmail.com) unto the assembled multitudes:

And don't forget the emergency turps.