OT Guardian Science Funnies

[polygonum]

Guardian has an unusually good collection of broadly science-based jokes

- some even seem fairly new! There are many more in the pages of comments... A few samples:

A statistician is someone who tells you, when you've got your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven, that you're ? on average - very comfortable.

I have CDO, it's the exact same as OCD, except the letters are ordered alphabetically.

A computer programmer's wife sends him to the shops. "Get a loaf of bread. If they've got eggs, get a dozen" she says. He returns with 13 loaves of bread.

[Tim Streater]

He ought to be returning with 12, not 13.

[Adrian]

He got the load of bread. They had eggs, so he got a dozen loaves (on top of the one he already had).

[Bob Eager]

Reminds me of the one about the programmer washing his hair all the time.

The instructions said: "Wet hair. Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat."

[Bod]

A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: ?No, I?m travelling light.?

[The Natural Philosopher]

it was a bakers dozen.

[Tim Streater]

If he's interpreting her instructions as software, then the software equivalent is:

loaves = 1 if (eggs==true) loaves = 12

She didn't say "add a dozen loaves to those you have". If she had, then the second statement would become:

if (eggs==true) loaves = loaves + 12

Remember: he's a programmer.

[jkn]

No, it would/could be (python pseudocode):

loaf.get(1) if (eggs == True): loaf.get(12)

and so it depends whether the meaning of get(X) is:

- ensure that the number in hand is X or - add X to the number in hand

J^n

[The Natural Philosopher]

Two things

loaves=1; //get a loaf if(eggs) then loaves +=12; //if they have eggs then get 12 loaves (more)

dozen=(shopping==LOAVES)? 13:12; loaves = (eggs? dozen:1);

[Tim Watts]

On Sunday 29 December 2013 12:07 jkn wrote in uk.d-i-y:

It is hugely ambiguous, but my personal preference is that ^^^

[Huge]

"Guardian discovers 4 year old reddit thread; film at 11"

[fred]

In article , Tim Streater writes

Not a very good one as there is no mention of loaves in the second (separate) conditional statement.

[stuart noble]

Cheered me up despite not being a scientist

[Dave Liquorice]

Is the right answer. Not all the wibbling about having one loaf and adding another 12 if the shop also has eggs. Suplimentary question (without google or other search engine): Why is a bakers dozen 13 not

12?

[Bod]

A baker's dozen was the first thing I thought of, but thought that it couldn't be, because it didn't relate to a computer programmer.

[John Williamson]

Because products such as rolls must have a minimum guaranteed weight per number sold, and as the finished weight of product from a certain weight of dough wasn't 100% predictable, they put 13 in the bag to ensure the weight was sufficient, avoiding prozecution for giving short measure.

[ARW]

He ought to be telling her to do her own shopping.

[Tim Watts]

On Sunday 29 December 2013 18:09 John Williamson wrote in uk.d-i-y:

Yes - and because penalty for being found uilty was severe - not like now.

Anyway, you could sort of compensate by upping your prices slightly.

[fred]

They had a few better ones n today's Observer

[polygonum]

Link?