Laminate flooring accident

Aug 30, 2008 25 Replies

A neighbour sent me a text saying this morning saying "I have chopped my finger off laying some laminate. The key is under the plantpot feed the cat until further notice please"



I have fed the cat but I have no idea how or what me managed to chop his finger off with. I also wonder what he used to type the text message with.



Adam


Ah - a digital communication. :-)

Thumbs are normally used for text messages, are they not?

Probably gone to A&E for a sore nose?

I always find clipping my fingernails invariably clears up my ear infection

Analog communication

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Perhaps s/he was was the person asking about a new Stanley knife a couple of days ago.

I have bought 10 false fingers from the fancy dress shop. I have put them in drawers and cupboards in his house with labels on such as "pull your finger out", "that is a sore point", "Winston Churchill needed 2 of these"

I need more ideas before he comes home.

Adam

I have eight fingers and two thumbs...are you sure you have ten?

You need this to hold a wedding ring.

I am divorced. I did it DIY for £375

Adam

Not sure if I dare say it, you tried vinegar for that?

With or without the brown paper?

The 2nd para of that site has a problem in IE6

Locorten Vioform does the trick if it gets bad enough for a GPs script.

My English teacher used to shout "extractum digitum", that is when he wasn't beating our arses with anything that came to hand.

Perhaps he used his Dictaphone.

A nurse phoned me about 20 minutes ago to tell me about my neighbour. I tried every trick in the book but I failed to get her phone no.

That is the credit crunch for you. Nurses are more picky about blokes now as they (the female ones)sill have job security.

Adam

Odd - I hadn't looked at it in IE at all, but you are right. Oh well, there is a PDF version.

I happened across that a couple of years ago and always wondered if it worked. I never get ear infections - plenty of other ear`things. :-)

Leave 3/4 of a Kitkat somewhere? Insert Joan Collins comment as needed/desired.

I hear Miss Collins requires all four, but I haven't got first hand knowledge.

messagenews:0Aeuk.50156$ snipped-for-privacy@text.news.virginmedia.com...

So how *did* he digitize himself ? Simon.

That's clumsy. Easy to do with a chop saw though, i'd have thought. I tend to keep my fingers out of spinny bits.

P.

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