Beard trimmer, hair clippers?
A no1 (1/8") comb should leave you with a hygienically short crack bush without risk of injury.
Seems a small price to pay for the hygiene benefits.
Not suggesting this as an every day necessity, more likely once every couple of months.
Back, sack and crack ...
Especially when one has guests!
"God, that pong! Where do you keep your baby?"
"Oh, we don't have a baby, that's just John with his baby wipes!"
Or do what I do with prawn heads after shelling them. If I put them in the normal rubbish sack for collection, the neighbourhood cats scratch their way in. So I put them in my freezer in a plastic food bag. On Tuesdays when the rubbish truck comes I fetch 'em out and put 'em in the sack. Cats don't seem to detect *frozen* prawn heads quite so quickly.
MM
Depends on hair and stickiness. ;-)
Although not an advertised feature, if your water pressure is reasonable the bidet seat advertised can clean not just the outside...
Tim
Maybe you're younger and heal faster?
MM
What do you dry your bum with after a Bidet rinse ?? Baz
Don't have anything like that. Mind you, I'd simply break the rules and run an extension cord in if need be. I do it anyway in the winter when I switch on a portable fan heater to take the chill off. It's bollocks anyway for UK elfnsafety to ban it, when most other countries have a power outlet. Of course, if there were kids in the house, then I wouldn't, but there's only me to worry about!
MM
My brown bum towel, kept only for that purpose and laundered frequently (I have 2 others in rotation).
MM
Actually, I had a brainwave just now while out walking. Drill a 15mm hole in the bottom of the bottle (the end opposite the neck). Close the hole with a tight-fitting rubber grommet or bung.
Now glue the bottle into the spray tube connector, using a suitable glue for plastics.
In use, remove the bung to fill the bottle, replace, then position spray tube beneath botty and squeeze bottle! I can't see it parting company any more.
Haven't tried it yet. Dunno what glue to use.
MM
That's what we did when I was a kid.
Owain
I'm certainly not going to suggest putting the wipes in the freezer until bin day, but I'm sure someone else here will.
Just get into the habit of going for a No2 before you have a shower.
One could get hold of an old fridge with an icebox for free. That would suffice.
MM
I don't have a shower. And you don't have any kind of habit when you've got the trots.
MM
But it would be confusing having two fridges in the bathroom, one for the champagne and one for the shitwipes.
Owain
Keep the one for fecal matter in the garage.
(Personally, I just think it's easier to spray one's bum with water...)
MM
I've discovered something totally counter-intuitive. If I screw the bottle on to the spout while PULLING ON THE SPOUT, leakage is far less likely in use. Given that the crap design and poor plastic material renders the bottle susceptible to loosening from its threaded connection to the spout, I have always attempted to push the bottle tightly against the spout while screwing it on. But in fact it works better if I pull it AWAY from the thread as the thread engages more and more.
Go figure! I haven't a clue about the physics involved. Maybe less deformity occurs.
MM
Go figure! I haven't a clue about the physics involved. Maybe less deformity occurs.
please learn to snip posts or better still move to germany
I could still post from Germany...
MM
why don't you move there.
How many children do you have
Have something to add? Share your thoughts — no account required.
Ask the community — no account required