Improve design of portable bidet, how?

[MM]

I bought one of these in July while suffering from extended bouts of the trots with Norovirus:

Or:

It is actually a brilliant little device for when your botty is red raw from frequent visits to the loo.

But its design truly SUCKS. The problem is the water bottle and its screw thread attachment to the spray tube. Almost every time one uses it, the bottle becomes canted away from the tube connection and starts leaking, pouring water on to the bathroom floor.

The bottle is made of cheapo plastic of some kind, and deforms far too easily when squeezed.

So what I'm looking for is a replacement bottle that will fit the tube connection, or some way of strengthening the bottle neck, for example by heating it then freezing it repeatedly just in the region of the threaded part in order to harden the plastic. (Or could this hardening be achieved with a mix of household checmicals?)

Any ideas? Don't say "install a bidet" ! There's NO space available.

It seems such a shame that a good and cheap idea should be let down by such poor design and shoddy workmanship, It is, of course, made in China.

Last question: Would the screw thread be a standard thread used for other products? The bottle neck is approx 36.89mm dia, not including the thread, or approx 39.57 WITH the thread. The thread pitch is approx 2.20mm

For possible reinforcement of the bottle neck, where the deformation occurs and the leakage ensues, I thought of a short strong spiral spring that could be 'popped' inside the neck, which would expand and thus reduce the likelihood of deformation. Haven't tried any of the ideas yet, though. And I wouldn't know where to find such a spring anyway.

Or maybe a metal ring (brass or copper -- e.g. plumbing accessories?) that could be forced inside the neck. The ring could be hacksawn through on one side, then opened up a bit to make it 'springy'.

The only requirements are that the bottle holds water, can be squeezed to send water to the spray end, and is 99% leakproof at the bottle/tube connection when in use.

Further ideas welcome, even a DIY design for reconstructing the whole thing out of 15mm copper tube and a small watering can rose.

MM

[Artic]

MM scribbled...

Ah sole like a Japanese flag...

If you've got long arms, this might do a better jobby

to-new-depths

Fits a 2 litre coke bottle for those Ahhhhh moments

[MM]

On Tue, 8 Oct 2013 08:05:59 +0100, Artic > connection, or some way of strengthening the bottle neck, for example

Amazing!

Thanks.

MM

[Tim+]

Forget the squeezy bottle approach and get yourself one of these.

I've had mine for about a year now and it's been brilliant. Only cold water but that's not as shocking as it might sound.

It did require a little fettling of the T-piece that connects to the CW feed to the toilet cistern (there was a lip that I had to grind off to get a flush fit with the existing CW connection) but that wasn't too hard.

For the money I think it's a brilliant bit of kit that useful all the time, not just when you've rubbed your ars*hole raw with loo paper. Particularly useful if your nether regions are of a hirsuit nature when cleaning with paper is a tedious process.

Tim

[MM]

That latter point is my problem, too!

I have been looking at alternatives. The favourite is something like this from Toto:

But it ain't cheap! Plus, I'm in the UK and we're not allowed to have a power point in the bathroom. (The B100 assumes there is one.)

MM

[Huge]

Baby wipes. Cheap, effective, don't require power.

[Tim+]

And clog drains. Do you really want to put shitty wipes in the bathroom bin?

Tim

[Tim+]

I looked into those sort of things but the Korean one is *way* cheaper and does what I want very effectively. My wife complains because the nozzle doesn't spray the "lady parts" but I can live with that. ;-)

Seriously, for the money, it's not a disaster if it doesn't work out for you and you could buy a lot of replacements for the price of one of the heated all singing, all dancing bidet seats.

Tim

[fred]

In article , MM writes

Then trim yer bush that man!

[Tim+]

Just realised that one now does hot and cold rinse. Should have read the ad!

That said, unless you've run the hot water through the system first, you could have a fair old wait for it to arrive depending on your plumbing.

Tim

[MM]

No! Wiping is a total no-no after you've been a dozen times a day, like I was doing when I got Norovirus. Maybe you've not been 'blessed' yet?

MM

[Huge]

So have a specific covered bin for them.

[Huge]

I had it a few weeks ago. Wet wipes and vaseline sorted the sore bumhole problem.

[MM]

There IS an added benefit of using a bidet and that is it reduces the amount of loo paper needed. With a healthy digestive system, practically to zero. People who need lots of paper DON'T have a healthy digestive system!

MM

[MM]

Ooh, you rotter! ;) Imagine how much more she'd love you if you could devise a mod that would do the trick for her as well.

Yes, it certainly is something I shall be investigating in more detail in the coming weeks. Apparently there are many countries where the lack of a bidet is considered very backward indeed. And since the UK has very few bidets it's going to take a while before demand fires up the competition to bring prices down. The toilet seat-cum-bidet for over £400 is an exorbitant price to pay. But we British are not the most hygienically minded folk on the planet, are we?

MM

[MM]

And how does one go about doing that? It's the arse we're talking about! Fancy doodling down there on your own specimen with a mirror and a pair of scissors? I don't! You could cause an anal fissure where there wasn't one before.

But I'd be too embarrassed to go to a health farm to have it done, plus it would need doing again within a month. Costly process. I wonder whether that new gadget advertised on the TV for ladies' legs might do the trick. It uses some kind of electronic "flame" to, I assume, singe the hairs off.

MM

[MM]

I reckon a bottle filled with tepid water from the tap(s) would do just as well. You really don't need a lot.

MM

[Tim+]

Stool consistency is hugely variable, healthy digestive system or not. Fibre content of your diet will alter the water content of your stools. "Well formed" isn't necessarily synonymous with "healthy digestion".

Tim

[Tim+]

Lovely! Just what I want in my en-suite bathroom!

Tim

[Adam Funk]

Couldn't it be wired into a fixed connection (like a towel rail or electric hand dryer)?