IKEA Gibberish

Hi All
Got dragged to IKEA tonight by SWIMBO after work to buy a cooker hood. Asked juvenile imbecile x 3 if it could be exhausted via wall or was it necessary to go through ceiling void?
Due to conflicting answers, took display model apart & found it could indeed be exhausted through wall. News to juvenile imbeciles.
Stood in line for 25 mins due to unmanned checkouts, drove 1 mile to collection point on other side of retail park. Waited 20 mins.
Arrived home at 9:45pm. Consumed several beers.
Unpacked hood, read instructions;
"The hood has an upper air duct B1 and an optional rear air duct B" (no it doesn't) for external fume exit. Select the suitable air duct and apply the flange C supplied, ensure to close the unused air duct with tap D supplied if provided".
"Caution! In some models the rear hole duct is not easily accessible, even when the tap D (if mounted) is removed".
It was also covered in tape warning against inserting your fingers into the fan blades if they were switched on and rotating.
I'm leaving it till the weekend.
Why oh why, can't they communicate in plain bloody English???
I still reckon we should take military action.....................
--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
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The Medway Handyman wrote:

That reminds me...
The man who makes it doesn't want it. The Man who sells it doesn't want it. The man who buys it doesn't want it. The man who gets it doesn't know he's got it.
--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite




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The Medway Handyman wrote:

She who is my big other?
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She Who *Instantly* Must Be Obeyed?
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!
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On 29 Aug 2006 18:05:33 -0700, Weatherlawyer wrote:

Someone Who Is My Beer Opener?
--
..........................................................................
. never trust a man who, when left alone ...... Pete Lynch .
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...

Optional usually means you need to buy it separately.
Colin Bignell
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On Wed, 30 Aug 2006 08:05:08 +0100, "nightjar" <nightjar@<insert my surname here>.uk.com> wrote:

The ducting always is sold seperately with cooker hoods.
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Not always. SWMBO went and bought one on-line, and it arrived complete with vent kit included.
Only trouble was, she was seduced by the super-high extraction rates and very low noise. ( this was to replace a feeble, screeching old thing. ) Upon inspection, the reason it had such good performance was a massive slow-running fan, and a duct almost 200mm in diameter! ( the old one was something like 100 or 110mm ) Our local hire shops only go up to 150mm in core drills. What was to be a simple swap turned into a weekend's work with a hilti drill and cold chisel to form the blasted hole big enough for the vent kit, and then making good afterwards. All done to the background sounds of " But cant you just swap one for the other?" "How long will it take?" "Do you really need to make a big hole in the wall?" "You're not going to make a mess in my kitchen, are you?" etc etc. Grrr...
--
Ron




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In uk.d-i-y, Ron Lowe wrote:

"Where's that cold draught coming from?"
--
Mike Barnes

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Must....resist....the....temptation....to....ask....who...that....was...
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!
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writes

Details, please?
Mary
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Wierd isn't it. If it was an outside builder that came in to do it, it would be "don't worry about the mess, would you like a cup of tea, do what you need to do, take your time...".
-- JJ
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I'm told by a plasterer that the standard trick is to ask to borrow the vacuum cleaner to clean up any mess. Housewife is delighted you offered, but secretly horrified at the thought of her lovely expensive vacuum cleaner being used for that mess. More often that not, the response is "Oh don't worry about that -- I'll clean it up after you've gone."
--
Andrew Gabriel

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Andrew Gabriel wrote:

You do a fair bit of plastering don't you Andrew...is this a technique you us at home ;)
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============================I wonder what these '.....juvenile imbeciles......' think of elderly hen-pecked men who take out their frustrations on young people who who have been working all day trying to help to customers.
Cic.
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Cicero wrote:

Elderly? Cheeky git! Hen pecked I'll admit to :-)
If they knew the answer to relatively simple product related question everybodys life would be easier.
As it happens, I didn't take out my frustrations on them at all. They remain juvenile imbeciles though.
--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
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===========================Well, I think they do their best with rather limited training. The fact is that product information is an expensive commodity - one of the hidden costs when we buy from more traditional shops.
We like the convenience of the large outlets like Ikea, B&Q etc. and the price we pay is a lower standard of service and long queues.
Cic.
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Cicero wrote:

A good point. Personally I've always believed that if you sell a product you should make it your business to know all about it. I guess they are on minimum wage and have no motivation from their management.

Aint that the truth...........
--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
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What you are asking is that every employee should be capable of answering a wide range of questions about every product in the IKEA inventory. That is the only way that an employee, chosen at random, is likely to be able to answer the particular question you want answered.
Colin Bignell
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No, I think he is expecting every employee to know how to find out, and to be motivated to do so. There is a big difference between knowing everything, and knowing enough to know where to look for an answer.
-- JJ
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