WHEN the British National Party win a handful of seats at the European elections, everyone with frizzy hair and comfortable shoes will run around blaming mainstream politicians for resurfacing their moats on the taxpayer. Hmm. That's like Ronald McDonald blaming his 42in waist on genetics.
The main reason why the BNP will do well is because the main parties seem to have completely lost touch with what their supporters actually want out of life. We have the Conservatives dreaming up policies to suit whatever mood happens to be prevailing at the time, when all their voters want is for the economy to be mended. So that taxes can be cut. And then cut again.
And then we have the fools and madmen in the Labour Party. Does Gordon Brown, for instance, think that in the clubs of South Yorkshire, where I grew up, people want a smoking ban? Does he believe that White Van Man sits down to watch Top Gear and thinks: "You know, this would be a whole lot better if Richard Hammond had a vagina"? Does he think, even for a small moment, that the people who put a cross in his box give even a small toss about "the environment"? Or that the foundry worker wants to finish his shift and "drink responsibly"?
And then there's the question of immigration. Of course, I can quite understand why the champagne socialists are worried about the plight of poor Ndjama. His village has been sacked by rebels, he has nowhere to live and nothing to eat. Of course they would want him to have a home in Britain. Fundamentally, they are good people with big hearts. But mostly they want Ndjama to come here because when he does, he's not going to be living in their street. So, Ndjama will go and live in someone else's street and that person will be quite cross. Especially when he goes to work one day and finds Ndjama at the wheel of his forklift truck.
The Labour Party say that immigration is good for Britain and morally the right policy to pursue. This may be so. But those who put them in power, emphatically, do not think this way. We are all tribal. We like being in a group and we distrust outsiders. We have our family unit, our bunch of friends, the town where we live, the football club we support, and, especially if we are Scottish, the country of which we are proud. The big-hearted, liberal-thinking chaps and chapesses who advise Brown and his gang of fiddlers may think this is backward and pre-historic. They think tribalism could even be dangerous. And again, they may be right. But you wouldn't allow Man United's fans to sit among the Barca boys in a stadium because it would end in a fight.
And if you let half of Africa come to Britain - no matter how morally correct this may be - you're going to wind people up and gift the BNP your seat. Then we'll see how tolerant these champagne socialists are. When they go to work and find themselves sitting next to a Nazi.