A generation or so ago, we used to say "Children should be
seen, but not heard". I think there is some wisdom to that.
I also love kids, but preferably quiet ones who play nicely
and don't run about and swing their arms over their heads.
Back in the late 80's I had a little buddy named Wayne who
lived next door, he was 3 years old and his parents would
give him caffeinated soft drinks so this little critter was
outside on his big wheel at 3am all the time. Do you have any
idea what a big wheel sounds like on a concrete sidewalk at
three in the morning? It sounds kind of like a small cement
mixer full of gravel. Anyway, one day I went over to visit his
parents and the little perpetual motion machine was running
along the top of the furniture, bouncing off the walls and
yanking everyone's hair, etc. I finally snatched him up and
put him in my lap wrapping my arms around him so he couldn't
get away. In a my deepest monster voice I said "I'M GOING TO
EAT YOU!" he cried, Pleeeeez don't eat me, I'll be good, I'll
be nice!" I said "NO, I'M GOING TO EAT YOU, MUHAHAHAHAH!" I
let him go and he ran over to a chair, sat still and didn't
move. Everyone there exclaimed "Damn! How did you do that?"
I said it was a gift. After that, every time I came by, my
little buddy would offer me cookies or chips while saying,
"Here, eat this, it's better than me." I later found out that
his parents were using the threat of me eating him to make him
behave. The poor little guy was terrified of me. I couldn't
have that so the next time I saw him, I picked him up, gave
him a hug and told him I wasn't going to hurt him I was just
kidding. The little monster yanked my beard punched me in the
gut and went back to bouncing off the walls like a normal three
year old boy. Ah, little kids.
There should be a license to to reproduce, but there isn't anyone I
would trust to give the exam and make that call. But sadly, a lot of
parents should not be. Not evil, just incompetent like the ones you
describe. At the risk of sounding like an old fart, that was one of the
virtues of the old days with large extended families living in the same
area for many or most people. It gave everyone training as they grew up
on how to handle little kids. Not perfect, of course, but it couldn't be
worse than the clueless parents I see so much of today.
For the record, I have no problem with little kids running around
screaming and bouncing off of things, even with their arms up like
orangutans. That is their job, and the arms are for balance. But they
need to be doing it outside, and doing it enough so they are tuckered
out by the time they come inside. Little kids don't get enough outside
time these days.
aem (get offa my lawn) sends....
Don't know how true it is. but I heard of one kid in a
Batman costume who was making life miserable for some folks
on a long air plane flight. Yelling "Badda badda bat....
MAN!" and so on. Finally the first officer had a chat with
the kid, who went back to his seat and didn't run around
yelling any more. The pilot asked what had happened. First
officer replied that he'd told the kid he was Joker in
costume, and if he didn't settle down, he was going to throw
Batman off the air plane.
You might have called the cops or CPS if he's out at 3 AM on
the sidewalk. Not likely that his parents are watching from
the window, and he could have been kidnapped. Like on the
Dennis the Menace movie, he likely would have exhausted his
kidnappers, and they would have brought him back.
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