This winter due to strong El Nino our weather so far is out of whack.
More sick folks coming to store asking for help. Korean Plum tree,
Lilacs in our yard are budding turning green, expecing many
tree/shrubbery kills if it's like this all season long. Even night time
temp. is above freezing. Rain in December, hard to believe. I believe in
global warming trend, climate cycle or whatever... Mountains received
more than usual snowfall, ski hills operators are just happy expecting
good business. Lots of Americans coming up taking advantage of
Our lemon and lime have already begun setting fruit for their next crops
(shouldn't happen until March-ish). Wildflowers are eagerly growing in the
front yard. etc. But, this has happened increasingly in recent years.
Winter comes later and later and lasts shorter and shorter.
The brief excursions into below normal temperatures are the annoyance, here.
E.g., a couple nights at ~28F and now our nights are up closer to 40F with
daytime temps in the mid 70's. Goal is to get past "harvest" before we
see any (night) temperatures lingering at or below that magical 28F.
OTOH, we are expecting above average rainfall this winter which would
be a blessing -- help replenish the aquifers.
OToOH, the cold usually helps control "pests" that otherwise can
become a nuisance.
I remember you said you're in Southern AZ. My in-law has a winter home
in Tubac down there. Since the man died a few years ago, wife has new
boy friend(or whatever he's called) I quit going down there. If it keeps
up like this don't have to go away in the winter. Many ducks are still
around in the river, no sign of freezing up.
I know the mild climate has it's negative impact, but I'm all for it.
I've lived in the wintry state most of my life and honestly, other than
the beautiful sight it displays (countryside....not the dirty black
eyesore on the side of the roads), I wouldn't miss it. Besides, it gives
me a chance to ride the motorcycle more often.
Welcome to the "Lake Effect Snow" in Northern New York.
December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there
be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea
I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says
we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to
see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man,
I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped
to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff
and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
hour, Which I think was very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it
to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to
death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by
twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might
have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have
to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to
shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
plow on his truck
for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she
nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago??? She says she
did but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch
who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls
and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the
corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the goddamn
slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God
I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A
Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was
all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is
driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now
suing me for a million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but
also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife
went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
The version I have was Winter in CT. Same general idea
but far more of a focus on the snow plow driver -- as
if it was just a contest between the homeowner and
the warp/twisted snow plow driver!
ObTrivia: when selecting a home in a northern climate,
get one with a south-facing driveway. The difference
in effort required to clear it (and keep it clear) is
astonishing! (ours faced north -- so was almost
always a sheet of ice, even after clearing!)
Looks that way Uncle. Those snakeheads are walkers as well, so we are
on the lookout for hitch hiking snakehead fish along I8 and I10. Some
were reported to be armed with explosives wrapped around their middle,
and blurping "allah hu akbar"! as they get in the cars and squeezing
their relay buttons.
Snakehead killer Eagle
When I was working the 4-midnite shift at Hickam in Hawaii, during the
summer I used to hitch-hike into Waikiki every morning to surf.
Part of my little ritual was breakfast at the beachfront hotel where I
kept my surfboard: mahi, toast, jelly, and coffee: ninety-eight cents.
A number of years ago I went back for a month to look up old friends,
take them to dinner, and see how their lives came out.
My advice: If you have fond memories of the place, don't go back. I
almost cried when I saw what had happened to The North Shore.....
The population of japs has gone to overload, and the haoles are moving
back to the left coast. The locs are keeping to themselves and not
allowing non pollies to move to their islands. Howlies still get
pounded if they try to muscle in on surf.
When I was there, I was glad I wan't seen as a haole!
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